;mode800 *define spi "jpgplgin.dll|jpg" caption "Narcissu [Web Edition]" versionstr "ナルキッソス","ステージななvol.24" ;From left to right, the variables are: effect number, pack-in effect index, ;effect runtime (in milliseconds), pattern image filename. ;However, if you are using a pack-in effect, you may omit the last two variables. ;Thus 2 = 6= left-sided curtain, 500= delay effect 2,6,500 ;3 = Pixelwise crossfade, 600 effect 3,10,600 ;4 = Upwards scroll, 3000 effect 4,13,3000 ;5 = Pixelwise crossfade, 800 effect 5,10,800 ;6 = left-sided curtain, 500 effect 6,6,500 windoweffect 10,200 ;This function forces a click wait state when the interpreter encounters the characters in the designated string. ;However, if there happens to be a click wait command directly after that character, or if that character is prefaced by a 1-byte underscore (_), then this forced click wait state will not occur. ;The second parameter decides whether this will be a simple wait state, or the text page will be line-fed. If the forced click wait string happens to be shorter than (max line length - number), then the line feed will happen. ;This is a function for your convenience, but watch out -- you can easily cause the next line to overflow if you're not careful. ;In such situations, please decide whether you'll allow for default line breaks, or whether you'll manually insert line breaks in the appropriate places. ;The character string must be in 2-byte characters. clickstr "",2 savenumber 20 ;Creates a menu dialog window. ;This window is one that displays above all other items in the screen when it is active. ;From left to right, the arguments are: character font size x, character font size y, kerning x, kerning y, boldface (1 - yes; 0 - no), drop shadow (1 - yes; 0 - no); the final #rrggbb parameter is the window color menusetwindow 15,18,2,2,0,1,#808080 ;checks the nsa file which compiles all the necessary files nsa ;sets the game mode to "auto-read" almost. No clicking, basically. mode_ext ;sets the speed of slow, medium, and fast readings defaultspeed 65,20,1 ;sets the line for which the drawings are established ;underline 395 ;killmenu 4 killmenu 7 ;CD-DA消去 killmenu 2 ;unlocking sound plugin spi "nbzplgin.dll|nbz"soundpressplgin "nbzplgin.dll|nbz" rmenu "選択肢まで進む",skip,"回想",lookback,"セーブ",save,"ロード",load,"ウィンドウを消す",windowerase,"最初に戻る",reset ;selects mouse over and mouse out colors. selectcolor #EEFCFD,#99CCFB ;designates fadeout time for background track cdfadeout 1000 ;allows the player to skip kidokuskip ;allows songs to play during the skip-to-next mode mode_wave_demo ;turns on the use of global variables. Doesn't allow for playing off write-protected media. globalon defvoicevol 90 defsevol 50 defmp3vol 50 ;============================================================ ;システム側設定開始 ;============================================================ windowback ;unknown textgosub *text_lb ;テキストクリック待ちラベル ;unknown usewheel ;sets the data to a number ;enum numalias MD_SAVE,1 numalias MD_LOAD,2 ;数字変数 numalias sys_mode,103 numalias sys_auto,104 numalias sys_time,105 numalias sys_trapflg,106 numalias sys_ispage,107 numalias x,108 numalias y,109 numalias sys_cselnum,110 numalias csel_x,111 numalias csel_y,112 numalias save_month,113 numalias save_day,114 numalias save_hour,115 numalias save_minute,116 numalias save_num,117 numalias save_x,118 numalias save_y,119 numalias temp_num,120 numalias sys_auto_time,121 numalias sys_savingnum,122 numalias sys_ya,123 numalias sys_return,124 numalias sys_playing,125 ;sets the highest and lowest number. If it goes over or under, it will be taken to either intlimit sys_auto_time,0,2000 intlimit sys_ya,0,100 ;数字グローバル ;シナリオ読んだフラグ ;ボイス有り無し共通 numalias flg_pro,301 numalias flg_cha2,302 numalias flg_cha3,303 numalias flg_cha4,304 numalias flg_cha5,305 numalias flg_cha6,306 numalias flg_cha7,307 numalias flg_cha8,308 numalias flg_cha9,309 ;直前に読んだシナリオ numalias flg_bplay,310 ;中身は1〜9で、1はプロローグ ;文字変数 ;numalias シナリオ内小見出し,100 numalias save_str,101 numalias temp_str,102 numalias sys_midasi,103 ;numalias セーブ小見出し,501〜 ;============================================================ ;システム側設定終了 ;============================================================ game *start ;if %666<>99 menu_full mov %666,99 *title ;sets a variable with new data mov %sys_auto_time,1000 mov %10,0 ;sets cursor data ;setcursor 0,":l/4,160,0;cursor0.bmp",0,0 ;setcursor 1,":l/4,160,0;cursor0.bmp",0,2 ;sets an image. lsph 0,":l/4,160,0;cursor0.bmp",0,0 ;sets the visibilty of the text window. 1 is hidden. erasetextwindow 1 ;plays a wave file. Should be used for sfx/voices dwaveloop 1,"se\umi13.wav" ;plays mp3 for free! ;mp3loop "bgm\l02.mp3" ;loads a background image. IN this case, a file. ;The second number is the effect. In this case, a side wipe bg "e\title_off2.jpg",3 bg "tui2\title_off.bmp",3 ;※※まだ上の効果考慮してない ;click ;goto *tc1 ;============================================================ ;#ffffff ;setwindow 65,460,28,4,25,25,0,10,25,1,1,":a;sys\waku6.jpg",34,420 ;!sd ;erasetextwindow 0 ~ btndef "tui2\title_on.bmp" ;ボタン画像ファイルをメモリ上に呼び出しておく btn 1,433,396,153,14,433,396 btn 2,594,396,149,14,594,396 btn 3,433,426,310,14,433,426 btn 4,433,467,310,14,433,467 btn 5,433,507,310,14,433,507 btn 6,433,547,310,14,433,547 ;ボタン位置指定 btnwait %11 ;btnwait if %11<1 jumpb ;ボタン押して無い if %11==1 && %flg_pro == 0 goto *image_voice if %11==1 && %flg_pro == 1 goto *mini_title_voice ;スタート：ボイスあり if %11==2 && %flg_pro == 0 goto *image if %11==2 && %flg_pro == 1 goto *mini_title ;スタート：ボイス無し if %11==3 mov %102,1:mov %sys_mode,MD_LOAD:goto *saveload ;ロード if %11==4 mov %102,1:goto *tc1 ;プロダクト if %11==5 goto *soundmode ;サウンドモード if %11==6 goto *game_end ;終了する ;ラベルは仮 jumpb *mini_title lsp 191,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter00.bmp",285,224 if %flg_pro == 1 lsp 192,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter01_h.bmp",285,248 if %flg_cha2 == 1 lsp 193,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter02_h.bmp",285,272 if %flg_cha3 == 1 lsp 194,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter03_h.bmp",285,296 if %flg_cha4 == 1 lsp 195,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter04.bmp",285,320 if %flg_cha5 == 1 lsp 196,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter05_h.bmp",535,248 if %flg_cha6 == 1 lsp 197,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter06.bmp",535,272 if %flg_cha7 == 1 lsp 198,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter07_h.bmp",535,296 if %flg_cha8 == 1 lsp 199,":a/2,0,3;yobi\system\chapter08.bmp",535,320 lsp 200,":a/2,0,3;sys\modoru.bmp",644,549 ;次のシナリオマーキング if %flg_bplay == 1 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",273,252 if %flg_bplay == 2 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",273,276 if %flg_bplay == 3 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",273,300 if %flg_bplay == 4 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",273,324 if %flg_bplay == 5 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",523,252 if %flg_bplay == 6 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",523,276 if %flg_bplay == 7 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",523,300 if %flg_bplay == 8 lsp 201,":a/10,250,0;tui\cur2.bmp",523,324 bg "sys\mini_title.bmp",5 ~ btndef clear cellcheckspbtn 191,1 cellcheckspbtn 192,2 cellcheckspbtn 193,3 cellcheckspbtn 194,4 cellcheckspbtn 195,5 cellcheckspbtn 196,6 cellcheckspbtn 197,7 cellcheckspbtn 198,8 cellcheckspbtn 199,9 cellcheckspbtn 200,10 btnwait %11 if %11==-1 gosub *mini_title_clear:goto *title ;右クリック：戻る if %11==10 gosub *mini_title_clear:goto *title ;前の画面に戻る if %11<=0 jumpb ;ボタン押してない場合 ;以下はボタンを押した場合なのでまず画像クリア gosub *mini_title_clear if %11==1 goto *image if %11==2 goto *honpen2 if %11==3 goto *honpen3 if %11==4 goto *honpen4 if %11==5 goto *honpen5 if %11==6 goto *honpen6 if %11==7 goto *honpen7 if %11==8 goto *honpen8 if %11==9 goto *honpen9 ;ラベルは仮 jumpb *mini_title_clear csp 191 csp 192 csp 193 csp 194 csp 195 csp 196 csp 197 csp 198 csp 199 csp 200 csp 201 return ;※※今回はクリック待ちカーソルがスプライト0番に常に読み込まれているので、 ;　　csp -1は禁止です。もしくは、それをやったらすぐクリック待ちカーソルを読み込むこと。 ;=========================================================== *game_end mesbox "ゲームを終了します","さよなな" end ;■プロダクト説明 *tc1 mp3fadeout 1500 stop bg "tui\na01.bmp",3 bg "tui\na02.bmp",5 mp3loop "bgm\e01.mp3" setwindow 70,90,35,20,20,20,0,4,1,1,5,#ffffff,0,0,799,599 !sd erasetextwindow 0 dwavestop 1 ;この度は、ステージなな　ＶＯＬ２４ ;「Ｎａｒｃｉｓｓｕ」を手に取って頂き、 ;ありがとうございます。\ `Thank you for downloading stage-nana `production Volume 24, "Narcissu".\ *tc12 ;csel "　■　制作時のコンセプト",*ns01, ;"　■　そして制作後（後記となります）",*ns02, ;"　■　内容について",*ns03, ;"　■　制作多謝について",*ns04, ;"　■　タイトルへ戻る",*ns05 csel "`　■　Production Concepts",*ns01, "`　■　And After/Words ...",*ns02, "`　■　About The Subject Matter",*ns03, "`　■　Acknowledgements",*ns04, "`　■　Translator's Note (voiced)",*nsgp, "`　■　Translator's Note (unvoiced)",*nsha, "`　■　Return To Title",*ns05 *ns01 ;★制作時　コンセプトとか。@ `★ Production Concepts Et Cetera@ 　 ;元々、今回のコンセプトとしては…@ `Given the decision between "voices" and "no voices" ...@ 　 ;…ボイス「有り」と「無し」…どっちが上なのか？@ `... if I had to choose one and only one ... which one would be better?@ 　 ;上という概念が微妙ですが ;「無し」が上だと思っていました。@ `The concept of one thing being "better" than another is at best a difficult proposition, but ... nevertheless, I felt that "no voices" would definitely be better.@ 　 ;その理由はボイスが無いと、脳内イメージ力によって、 ;プレイされる方が「無限の理想形」 ;を、想像できる可能性があるからだと考えたからです。\ `The reason, you ask? This is because I was hoping that in the absence of voices, the power of the reader's imagination would take over, and that the resultant experience would be far more powerful and complete -- and I daresay more *perfect* -- than anything we could hope to provide.\ ;ならば、同じ原理で…@ `And by the same token ...@ 　 ;「絵」に関しても、可能な限り無い方が良いのか？ とか、 ;（ほとんどが黒・白画面だけみたいな感じで）@ `What about the visuals? Would it be better to leave those more in the demesne of the individual reader's imagination as well (by utilizing simple, black-and-white stylings and the like)?@ 　 ;もっと突き詰めると、 ;シナリオに関しても無しの方が良いのか？　とか。@ `And if we take that thought to its logical conclusion, what if the scenario were completely in absentia as well?@ 　 ;　※シナリオについての、アリ・無しの概念とは…@ ;アリ＝状況や心情を、全てｏｒ必要以上に書く「小説タイプ」 ;無し＝最低限度の文字だけで表現する「脚本・詩タイプ」@ ;　こんな↑感じだとお考え下さいませ。\ `(Well, in the case of the scenario, when we talk about it being ` 'present' or 'absent' ... ` - 'present' might stand for a very descriptive, ` real/heightened-reality narrative ` - 'absent' might stand for a much more minimal written style, ` i.e. screenplay- or poem-type ` ... or something like that)\ ;以上のことをずっと以前から考えていたので、 ;今回、試しにやってみようってのがキッカケでした。\ `I had been thinking about these kinds of things for the longest time, and I came to no definite conclusion. Now, I'd like to present this piece to you as an ... experiment, an empiric trial. 　 `After all, perhaps the decision was yours all along, and not mine.\ goto *tc12 *ns02 ;★そして　制作後の感想です\ `★ Thoughts After The Words\ ;☆絵について@ `☆ About The Visuals@ 　 ;思った以上に、絵を使ってしまいました。@ `I ended up utilizing far more pictures than I ever thought I would.@ 　 ;当初の予定では、 ;もっと黒と白だけのつもりだったのですけど…@ `At the onset, I had intended to go with simple images clad in black and white alone ...@ 　 ;純粋な小説家タイプの書き手さんなら、 ;そうなったのかも知れませんが、 `And if I were someone who had the right to call himself a real writer, it might actually have worked that way, but ... 　 ;自分の場合は、絵もテキストの一部って感覚が、 ;身に染み付いているようです。\ `In my mind and in my heart, it seems that art and text will be forever intertwined.\ ;☆ボイスについて@ `☆ About The Voices@ 　 ;最終的にボイスも用意することにしました。@ `In the end, I decided to utilize voices after all.@ 　 ;あくまでも、無しと比較する為に用意したって意味なので、 ;色んな意味で「違和感」を感じて頂けると幸いです。@ `After all, to the last they were recorded so they could be compared to the unvoiced version, so I was pleasantly relieved to find that they do introduce a question all of their own.@ 　 ;先にボイス無しでプレイしてから、ボイスアリをやった人と、 ;先にボイスアリやってから、無しをやった人との差とか。@ `And that is: what is the difference between those who play unvoiced first, voiced second and those who play voiced first, unvoiced second?@ 　 ;その両者の、違和感の格差を知りたかったのも、 ;今回、無しの為にボイスを用意した理由の一つでした。\ `I wanted to know what that difference was, and that is yet another reason why I ended up putting the voices in.\ ;☆まとめ@ `☆ Conclusion@ 　 ;そんな訳で、元々のコンセプトであった、 `Now that all is said and done ... 　 ;可能な限り情報（主にボイス・絵・文）を削り、 ;読み手の方の、無限のイメージに期待するって方法。@ `... one must wonder whether the original concept -- of deliberately shifting the burden of imagination (primarily by minimizing voice, visual, and written media) to the reader in hopes of planting therein the seeds of a feeling without end -- had merit.@ 　 ;「原理」としては正しかったと思っています。@ `I think that the "principle" of it is in the right.@ 　 ;でも、この理想形を追求する為には、 ;自分では、ちょっと無理があるように思いました。\ `But in the end, I feel as if I might not have been the best choice for the application of the principle.\ 　 ;ストーリーとかエンタメ性とかって以前に、 ;根本の問題として、脚本家・詩タイプのライターではなく、@ `Leaving questions of style and genre specifics aside, at the very onset my main question was this:@ 　 ;小説家タイプの書き方をする方のほうが適任かと思いました。@ `Whether novel-type writing -- not script- or poem-type -- would be better for this kind of project.@ 　 ;絵が無いならば、文字情報は、たくさん必要。 `But if there were to be no pictures, then one would have to spend a lot of words on character descriptions. 　 ;逆に言えば、文字情報が少ないならば、やはり絵は必要。@ `Conversely, if character descriptions were sparse, then pictures would be necessary after all.@ 　 ;当たり前のことですが、やはりそうなんだと思います。 `Is that obvious? Certainly. But it really does bear saying. 　 ;ものすごーく、時間をかけて、 ;練り込みに練り込みを重ねたら、分かりませんけど…\ `Oh, it might be true that things might be different if one were to work at it and work at it intensely over a long, long time, but ...\ 　 ;自分の場合も、そのへんの理由から、 ;やっぱり、絵がないと辛いって感じで ;当初の予定より、絵を多めに ;使用してしまうことになってしまいました。 ;（ホントはもっと白・黒だけのつもりだったんですが…）@ `For my part, I ended up using many more pictures than I had originally planned because I realized -- because of the aforementioned dilemma -- that it would be difficult to tell the story without them (so much for my original plan for simple black-and-whites ...).@ 　 ;あと、映画を意識した作りから、 ;１画面中に表示できる文字が、たった２行ってことも、 ;今回のコンセプトからは逆行してたみたいです。\ `And on top of that, since the in-game user interface mimics a movie, only two lines of text can be displayed at once -- yet another betrayal of the original concept, I think.\ 　 ;それで、自分は当分、 ;この可能性に挑戦できそうにないですが…@ `Therefore, I don't think that at present, I myself can reach high enough in pursuit of that ideal ...@ 　 ;もしも、今、これを読んでいるサークルや作家さんで、 ;挑戦してみたいって方がいらっしゃいましたら、 ;是非とも頑張って欲しいです。特に小説家タイプの方は。@ `But if you who have read this piece -- circle members, writers, it doesn't matter -- feel like reaching for it yourselves, I beg you to try where I have failed. Particularly you novel-style writers out there.@ 　 ;きっと原理としては正しい筈だと信じています。@ `Because I cannot help but believe that the guiding principle is just.@ 　 ;一見、古臭いファミコンちっくな、ビジュアルノベルこそが、 ;実は究極の仮想現実なのかも…\ `And because it may well be that small limited visual novels, written by small limited hands and running on small limited systems are the last and best virtual reality that we have ...\ goto *tc12 *ns03 ;★内容について…@ `★ About The Subject Matter ...@ 　 ;プラットについては上記の通り、 ;色んな試し要素を含んでおりました。@ `As mentioned above, I ended up putting many different experimental elements in the plot.@ 　 ;でも、その内容（ストーリー等）については、 ;あくまでも個人としての、商品じゃなく、作品として、 ;心の赴くまま、好きなようにさせて頂きました。@ `But in those elements (storyline and the like), I allowed myself to the last to put all my heart into writing the way my heart desired, for this was not a commercial piece, nor was it work.@ 　 ;面白いとか、ドキドキするとか、泣かせるとか、 ;そういうものも一切意識してませんでした。@ `I didn't particularly care about whether it was interesting, or whether it was arousing, or whether it was tear-jerking, or anything like that.@ 　 ;あ、別に犯罪行為とか、今の医療制度とか、 ;そのへんに異議とか意見がある訳でもありませんので…\ `Oh, to be sure, it wasn't as if I was protesting against the criminal legal system or the current health care system, or anything like that either ...\ 　 ;…プレイして頂いた方が、@ `... In the end, if those of you who played through it ...@ 　 ;つまらんかった、面白かった、メッセージを感じた、 ;なんかよく分からん、嫌悪感を抱いた、ハッピーじゃない、とか、@ `... felt that it was boring, or interesting, or that there was a message, or that you really didn't get it, or that you felt disgusted, or that you didn't feel happy, or anything else ...@ 　 ;とにかく、どんな感じ方であれ、@ `... no matter what it is that you felt, as long as you felt *something* ...@ 　 ;そう感じたならば、それがその人にとっての、 ;この作品の全てなのだと思います。@ `Then that which you felt is, for your part, the *all* of this piece.@ 　 ;制作者である自分にとっては、@ `As for myself? For me, personally, I feel that ...@ 　 ;”眩しかった日のこと、そんな冬の日のこと” `"... on a blindingly bright day ... ` ... on that very day of winter ..." 　 ;が全てだと思っています。\ `... is all.\ goto *tc12 *ns04 ;★制作多謝について…@ `★ Acknowledgements And Final Words ...@ 　 ;以前からお付き合いのあった方に、 ;全て個人としてご助力頂きました。@ `First of all, I would like to thank all the friends and acquaintances who have supported me in this endeavor -- and there have been so many of them.@ 　 ;音系は、オリジナルからの楽曲と、 ;自分のイメージに合う曲を、二次創作（アレンジ） ;してもらいました。@ `I'd also like to thank the musicians who wrote original pieces and, in some cases, arranged pieces that fit with my concept for me.@ 　 ;只、元々の作曲者本人にアレンジを頼んでは、 ;「二次創作」の枠を越えてしまうと判断したので、 ;違う方にお願いする方向でさせて頂きました。\ `However, I should note that because I felt that it would be too impertinent -- and step beyond the bounds of "arrangement" -- to ask the original composers to work with me, I asked different people to do so instead.\ ;キャラ絵の方は、ぴんさいずさんにお願いしてましたが、 ;ラストの絵だけ、頼む時間が無かったので、 ;司ゆうき君に描いてもらいました。\ `As for the character art, I'd originally asked Pinsize to do it, who did a wonderful job but couldn't find the time to do the last few. For those, Mr. Yuuji Tsukasa graciously agreed to step in.\ ;他にもテストプレイして下さった方や、 ;Ｗｅｂアップにご協力して下さった方々、 ;ボイスをあててくれた、綾川りのさん、@ `To all the people who beta-tested this piece, to those who agreed to mirror the Web Edition, and to Ms. Rino Ayukawa, who provided the voice work for Setsumi,@ 　 ;お忙しい中、 ;たくさんの方のご協力ありがとうございました。@ `Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time from your busy schedules to participate in this piece.@ 　 ;ＰＳ、直接、今回のに関係ありませんが、 ;　　　日赤渋谷病院と、東淀川キリスト教病院にも多謝です。@ `P.S. While they didn't have a direct hand in the creation of this ` piece, I would like to thank the staff of Nissekichou Shibuya ` Hospital and Higashiyodogawa Christ Hospital for their time and ` patience.@ 　 ;それでは、また何かのご機会がありましたら… `I hope that we will have the chance to meet each other again on different pages at a different time ... 　 ;２００５年７月２９日　ステージなな　片岡とも\ `29 July 2005 `stage-nana `Tomo Kataoka\ goto *tc12 *nsgp `★ Translator's Note (voiced)@ 　 　 `You are reading through what is probably the single most unique `localization effort ever attempted in the English-speaking `(ero-)game localization community. For one thing, two translators `worked nearly independently of each other on this piece. For `another, whether you choose to go with the voiced or the unvoiced `version makes a huge difference. For you see, Tomo Kataoka `originally wrote this piece with the intention of introducing `dilemmas that are generally not explored -- although the powerful `potential has probably always existed -- in this particular genre `of (slightly-)interactive entertainment.@ ` ` `We feel relatively justified in our choice to make it such that `the voiced version should have one translator, and the unvoiced `version should have another. The results are divergent in more `than one way: at the trivial level, Peter's British, and I'm `trained in American English.\ `But beyond that, I find that our two versions read quite `differently -- in some ways, radically so. At the same time, `I feel that there is no incongruity in my saying that both `versions are equally faithful to the text. So do as Tomo `Kataoka suggests -- read the voiced version and then the unvoiced `version (or vice versa, as per your preference) -- and see if `you don't come away with a more complete understanding of the `piece than you would have been afforded otherwise.@ ` ` `For all the budding translators out there: it may be instructive `to depack 0.txt from nscript.dat and see for yourself some of `the different ways that two different translators might tackle `the same sentence. Both of us have merely commented out the `original Japanese lines, and have placed our English translations `below them, so you'll be able to follow along. I also challenge `you: outdo us if you can. A piece like this can't have too many `different translations.\ `I would like to thank: `- Peter Jolly for agreeing to collaborate with me on this ` translation and for his excellent localization standard@ ` `- Edward Keyes for his moral, graphical, and editorial ` support (and for gruel wars / radish addictions)@ ` `- ogapee for his GPL implementation of NScripter@ ` `- Jeff Chang, Chris St. Louis, and Irene Ying for their ` continuing efforts as translators@ ` `- The insani QC strike team for their relentless pursuit of ` nitpicking detail@ ` `- All the people at the Haeleth boards who were convinced that ` I wasn't doing this project because they failed to read the ` declaration I wrote carefully@ ` `- You, the reader@ ` ` ` 14 August 2005 ` insani.org ` Seung Park\ goto *tc12 *nsha `★ Translator's Note (unvoiced)@ 　 　 `If the concept behind this work was the question of whether a `writer should choose to include or reject voices, then these `translations are the embodiment of that concept. Both Seung and I `have been forced to make that choice. As luck would have it, no `compromise was necessary, for we chose differently.@ ` ` `I have seen many western fans judge unvoiced games negatively. For `example, I know several people who are refusing to play Clannad `till a voiced version is released. I have a certain amount of `sympathy for that view, particularly when the game's text uses the `least foreigner-friendly script in the world. Yet there are `downsides to voicing; however good the actors, they will not match `every reader's impression of the characters, and where only some `characters are voiced -- or even just one, as here -- the voicing `can disrupt the balance of a work. 'Narcissu' voiced is about `Setsumi, period. Unvoiced, it gains in breadth what it loses in `depth.\ `Some of you will inevitably try to judge our translations against `each other. Your efforts are doomed. Not only are we translating `subtly different works, into subtly different languages: our `backgrounds, our styles, and even our very approaches to the act `of translation itself differ more. In translation there are no `right answers, for all answers are equally wrong. Read both our `versions, therefore, not looking for a winner, but rather in the `hope that through combining our translations you may see more `glimpses of the original than either of us was able to retain.@ ` ` `You may yet wonder why we chose this and not any other work for `this experiment. It is, after all, not famous, nor patently `important; an unkind critic might even write for many pages on `its flaws. The answer is simply that it moved us. We were both `compelled to respond to it. So we both did.\ `In a collaborative endeavour such as this more than any other, `much gratitude is due to those without whose efforts the project `would have come to nothing. To Tomo Kataoka and the other members `of the original Japanese team, without whom there would have been `no 'Narcissu' to translate; to Seung Park, who in addition to his `excellent alternative translation provided the impetus without `which my own might never have been completed, and Ed Keyes, who `did not even blink when he discovered he would have to do all the `graphical work twice to satisfy us both; to the team of testers `who ensured we did not release anything embarrassingly broken: `my sincerest thanks.@ ` ` `Peter Jolly (Haeleth) `August 2005\ goto *tc12 *ns05 goto *title ;dwave 1,"se\kaze3.wav" ;bg "e\umi_001.jpg",5 ;bg "e\b.jpg",5 goto *start ;stop ;mp3fadeout 2500 ;＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿ *introduction ;サウンドモード・スペック bg "sys\spec_sample_bg2.bmp",3 wait 500 ~ bg "sys\spec_sample_bg.bmp",5 btndef "sys\spec_sample_on.bmp" ;ボタン画像ファイルをメモリ上に呼び出しておく btn 1,285,192,424,24,285,192 btn 2,285,233,424,24,285,233 btn 3,285,274,424,24,285,274 btn 4,285,314,424,24,285,314 btn 5,685,561,100,22,685,561 ;ボタン位置指定 btnwait %11 ;btnwait if %11<1 jumpb ; if %11==1 bgm "bgm\nar_inst.mp3" ; if %11==2 bgm "bgm\n01.mp3" ; if %11==3 bgm "bgm\koko.mp3" ; if %11==4 bgm "bgm\n04.mp3" ; if %11==5 bgmstop : goto *start ; jumpb *image ;mov $sys_midasi,"プロローグ" mov $sys_midasi,"`Prologue" bg "e\b.jpg",5 stop dwavestop 1 mp3fadeout 1500 dwavestop 0 bg "e\c001a.jpg",1 bg "e\c001b.jpg",3 bg "e\c001.jpg",3 bg "e\c002.jpg",3 bg "e\c003.jpg",3 wait 700 bg "e\c004.jpg",5 wait 800 dwavestop 1 dwave 1,"se\rain_1.wav" bg "e\sora_ame03.jpg",3 bg "e\c02.jpg",3 setwindow 100,358,35,17,17,17,0,3,1,1,5,#ffffff,0,0,799,599 !sd erasetextwindow 0 ;　■　１９９６年　春　セツミ　■\ `- Spring 1996 : Setsumi -\ mp3loop "bgm\n04.mp3" bg "e\sora_ame01.jpg",3 ;『…確かに、幼い頃から丈夫な方じゃなかった…』\ `"My health was never particularly good, sure..."\ dwavestop 0 ;それでも小学校は普通に通えたし、 ;夏休みには真っ黒に日焼けするほど遊んだこともあった。\ `But I was able to attend primary school like anyone else. `In the summer holidays I was able to play till the sun burnt me black.\ bg "e\byoin_heya_yu2.jpg",5 ;６月。中学に入ってすぐの頃。@ ;来月から始まる、水泳用の水着を注文した翌日。\ `It was June, just after I entered middle school.@ ` `It was just before the midterm tests.\ ;その時、初めて入院ってのを経験した。\ `It was the day after I ordered a swimming costume for the summer. `That was the first day I was admitted to hospital.\ ;一学期の中間テストの少し前、 ;降り始めた雨が、やけに冷たい日だった。\ `It was a cold, unpleasant, drizzly day.\ dwave 1,"se\rain_1.wav" bg "e\sora_ame03.jpg",5 ;真っ白な梅雨空の中。\ `Shrouded by the rainy sky, murky, white, and damp.\ ;そりゃあ、最初の頃は、 ;クラスの皆んなも毎日のように見舞いに来てくれた。\ `At first my classmates came to see me every day.\ ;退院した頃には、 ;週末の度に、家にも遊びに来てくれた。\ `When I was out of hospital, they'd come over to play at the weekend.\ ;…でも、そんなのは最初だけ。\ `But that was only at first.\ dwavestop 1 bg "e\sora_ame01.jpg",3 ;秋を迎え、冬を越し、 ;入院、退院、通院…そしてまた入院を繰り返し…\ `Autumn came, and passed into winter. `I was admitted, and discharged; went in for tests, and was readmitted...\ ;かつて、友達と呼んでいたクラスメイト。\ `There were people in my class that I'd called my friends.\ ;いつしか、知り合いへと変わった。\ `Before I'd really realised what was happening, they were merely acquaintances.\ ;そして、他人へと変わった。\ `Then strangers.\ ;季節を重ねる毎に、 ;彼等の記憶からわたしは消えたようだった。\ `With each change of the seasons, I faded from more memories.\ bg "e\chara_k01.jpg",5 ;「…どうやら、”良い気がしない”らしい」\ `"I suppose they... don't like seeing me."\ dwavestop 0 wait 300 ;「普通に生きている人にとって、わたしの存在ってのは」\ `"If you've got a normal life, you don't want someone like me in it..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chara_k01.jpg",3 !s80 ;「だから…消されたようだった…」\ `"So they blank me out..."\ dwavestop 0 dwave 1,"se\rain_1.wav" bg "e\w.jpg",3 bg "e\sora_ame03.jpg",5 !sd ;「幾つもの季節を、白い梅雨空を… ;　誰とも言葉を交わす必要もなく過ごした…」\ `"I've passed all these seasons, under that white overcast sky, without needing to speak to anyone..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「わたしの英語の教科書は、 ;　１年生の中間テスト以降、まっさらな状態だった」\ `"My English textbook is untouched from the first-year midterms onwards..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chara_0012.jpg",5 ;「…そこで…@わたしの時間も止まったらしい」\ `"As though...@ ` even time stopped for me there..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chara_0013b.jpg",3 bg "e\c005.jpg",5 bg "e\c0052.jpg",3 !w800 dwave 1,"se\z42r.wav" bg "e\w.jpg",1 bg "e\sora01.jpg",5 bg "e\c00.jpg",5 ;　■　８年後…２００４年　主人公　初夏　■\ `Eight years later `- Early Summer 2004 : Protagonist -\ bg "e\sora01.jpg",3 ;夏。流れる汗。\ `It was summer. The sweaty season.\ ;運転免許試験場に設置された、大きな電光掲示板。\ ;一斉に点灯を始めたライト。 ;俺も他の皆んなと同じように、自分のナンバーを目で追う。\ `We were all staring intently at the display board.\ `This test centre was pretty up-to-date; the display was computerised.\ `The lights on it, the indicators of success, were beginning to come on. `We were all watching for our own numbers.\ ;「２３７、２３７…」\ `"237... 237..."\ dwavestop 0 ;チカチカと約８割ほどのライトが点灯する中、 ;無事に自分の受験番号が光ったことを確認した。\ `About 80% of the lights flickered on. My number was among them.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 dwave 1,"se\faan1_b.wav" ;ガタンゴトン、\ ;ちょうど昼過ぎの為か、よく空いていた車内。\ ;そんなガラ空きの車内を、 ;俺は試験場からの帰路についていた。\ `I took the train home.\ `It was a quiet time of day; the rattling, swaying carriage was practically empty.\ ;左手には貰ったばかりの交通教本、 ;胸ポケットには真新しい免許証。\ `In my left hand, the copy of the Highway Code they gave me. `In my breast pocket, a brand-new driving licence.\ ;「これで俺も、普免持ちか…」\ `"So now I'm a driver too..."\ dwavestop 0 ;しみじみ呟くが、特に感慨はなかった。\ `I tried to whisper it as though it were a profound thing, but it didn't actually excite me all that much.\ ;別に、車に乗りたかった訳じゃない。 ;他に何かの目的があった訳でもない。\ ;只、まわりの連中も教習所に通っていたし、 ;車の免許くらい取っておけと勧められただけだった。\ `I hadn't particularly wanted to be able to drive.\ `It wasn't that I'd had any other motive for taking the test... I was just doing what all my friends were doing.\ bg "e\sora_yoru01.jpg",5 ;その夜。\ `That night.\ ;親に免許が取れたことを報告すると、 ;『そうか』と、短く返された。\ `I told my parents I'd got a licence. `All they said was, "well done".\ ;試しに、車を貸してくれと言ってみたら、 ;同じように短く、@駄目だ。とだけ返された。\ `I tried asking to borrow the car, just to see what would happen. `All they said was,@ ` "not now".\ ;別に車に乗りたかった訳じゃないけど、 ;その返答はあまりに予想通りだった。そんな親だった。\ `I hadn't been expecting anything else. It was an entirely predictable response. `That's just the kind of parents I have.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;翌日。 ;寝覚めから胸が苦しかったので病院へと向かった。\ `The next day I woke up with an excruciating pain in my chest. `Bad enough that I took it straight to hospital.\ ;普段から俺は、病気なんてもんに縁がなかった。 ;だから、初診受付の待ち時間は、ひどく退屈に感じた。\ `I wasn't particularly well acquainted with the place at that time. `There was a long wait to be seen. Long and tedious.\ bg "e\byoin_rouka.jpg",3 ;やっと診察が終わったと思うと、 ;今度はレントゲンと血液検査にも行った。行かされた。\ `When at last they straightened up, I thought the examination was over. `Then it turned out I was going... being taken... for X-rays and blood tests.\ ;更に、長い長い時間を、ぼ〜っと待たされ…\ `Then there was another long, long wait...\ ;思わず、待合室にあったジャンプを３冊も読み、 ;４冊目に手を伸ばした時、\ `I read three whole issues of "Jump" in the waiting room that day. `Then, as I reached out for the fourth...\ ;そのまま入院の手続きをさせられた。\ `...they came and took me away.\ ;胸ポケットに入れたままになっていた、真新しい免許証。\ `My brand new driving licence was still in my breast pocket. ;その出番は遠のいたようだった。\ `Apparently I wasn't going to have a chance to use that quite yet...\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 mp3fadeout 2000 stop bg "e\sora07.jpg",5 setwindow 100,358,35,17,17,17,0,3,1,1,5,#ffffff,0,0,799,599 !sd erasetextwindow 0 dwavestop 1 bg "e\c03.jpg",3 ;　■　主人公　２００４年　秋　■\ `- Autumn 2004 -\ mp3loop "tui2\e01.mp3" bg "e\sora07.jpg",3 ;あんなにうるさかった蝉が鳴き止む頃。\ `It was about the time of year when the cicadas finally start to shut up.\ ;相変わらず俺は病院に居た。\ `I was in hospital, as usual.\ ;もちろん、ずっと入院していた訳じゃない。 ;出たり入ったりの繰り返しだった。\ `Oh, I hadn't been in there all summer. `I'd been in and out, back and forth, on and off.\ ;先月には、初めて手術ってのも経験した。 ;退院後は、原チャで５分の距離を通院もした。\ `I'd had my first operation the previous month. They'd discharged me afterwards, but I still had to go back in a lot.\ `Thankfully it was only five minutes by moped.\ ;それからも、入院、退院、通院、入院を小刻みに繰り返して…\ `And so the cycle continued: admission, discharge, tests, readmission, and on, and on, and on...\ ;ＰＥＴだかイレッサだか知らないけど、 ;気づけば、その繰り返しで数ヶ月が経とうとしていた。\ `Whether it was for PET scans or for Iressa treatment, I don't know, but before I knew it, the cycle had been going on for months.\ ;食欲が減った代わりに、貰う薬の量と種類が増えた。 ;自分でも、目に見えて体力が落ちてきたと実感できる。\ `My appetite shrank, while the number of medicines I was expected to swallow just kept on increasing. `I felt like I could literally see myself getting weaker.\ ;足が細くなった気がするけど、\ `Even my legs seemed to be withering.\ ;”それは気のせいじゃない” ;と、体重計の針は教えてくれた。\ `It wasn't my imagination. `I would weigh myself, and the needle of the scales would confirm it.\ ;なのに俺は…@どこか客観的に自分を見ていた。\ `And yet...@ ` somehow it didn't really seem all that personal.\ ;まるで他人事か、 ;テレビの１シーンでも眺めているようだった。\ `It was like I was watching it happen to somebody else. `Like it was just a scene from some TV drama.\ ;突然、身に起こったことに、頭がついて行けなかった。 ;リアルとして起こった実感が沸かなかった。\ `I was unable to understand what was happening to my body all of a sudden. `I hadn't even grasped that the changes were real.\ ;だから、自分自身のことの筈なのに、 ;どこか遠い場所から冷めた目でしか見れなかった。\ `So though it was as personal as anything could be, still I could only observe it as though from a far and disinterested position.\ bg "e\c033.jpg",5 bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;冬の日。 ;街頭からクリスマスツリーが姿を消す頃、\ `A winter's day. `It was the time of year when municipal Christmas decorations are dismantled.\ ;年末ということもあってか、自宅に帰してくれた。\ `They let me go home for New Year.\ ;あくまでも一時的なものらしい。 ;それでも少しは嬉しかった。\ `It was only a temporary thing, but it was a welcome change.\ bg "e\amazora02.jpg",5 ;みぞれ混じりの雨の中、 ;久しぶりに帰ってきた俺の家。\ `I arrived home amidst sleet and driving rain.\ ;何故か、家族が全員揃っていた。\ `For some reason the whole family was there to greet me.\ ;普段からそれほど話すことも無かった親なのに、 ;どこかギクシャクとしながらも、笑顔で迎えてくれた。\ `My parents had always been quiet and aloof. `Today they greeted me with smiles and laughter, though it seemed forced.\ ;いつも口喧嘩ばかりしていた妹が、 ;俺の好きなクリームシチューとエビフライを作って待っていた。\ `My sister had never had anything for me but a sharp tongue. `Today she had made me my favourite cream stew with fried prawns.\ ;こたつに並んで座った。みかんをむいてくれた。 ;やけに優しかった。それが印象的だった。\ `We sat around the kotatsu. She peeled me a satsuma. `I was touched to be treated with such unusual kindness.\ ;この時点で…@俺は少しだけ察した。\ `It was then that I began to realise.\ ;ポケットに入れたままになった、例の真新しい免許証。\ `That unused driving licence, still in my pocket...\ ;この免許証は、その価値を生かすことなく ;終わるのかも知れないと思った。\ `I began to realise that I was probably not going to get much use out of it.\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 ;ギクシャクとした不自然な笑顔に迎えられて…\ `That's what I thought, as the forced smiles and false cheer washed over me.\ ;冷静に、曖昧に、ひたすら薄っぺらく、 ;他人事のように俺はそう思った。\ `That's all I thought, in the same calm, vague, detached way I'd been thinking about this whole affair.\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 bg "e\c032.jpg",5 ;　■　主人公　２００５年　１月　■\ `- January 2005 -\ bg "e\byoin_rouka.jpg",5 ;年が明けて、また帰って来た病院。\ `I returned to hospital in the new year.\ ;何故かその日は、いつもの４階ではなく、 ;談話室のような部屋に行った。行かされた。\ `For once I didn't return straight to the fourth floor. `Instead I went... was taken... to a different room, a discussion room.\ ;そして、オヤジと医者の先生、 ;それに俺も交えた三人で色んな話しを聞いた。聞かされた。\ `My father was with me, and there was a doctor as well. `They talked to me, or rather at me. I listened. Was made to listen.\ ;いわゆる、告知というやつなんだろう。\ `It turned out that this was what they call "disclosure".\ ;すごく遠回しな言い方だったが、 ;そう解釈した。死ぬらしい俺は。\ `The doctor took a long time to explain everything, and used a lot of long words in the process, as doctors do. `But all it came down to was, it looked like I was going to die.\ ;「そうですか…」\ `"Oh..."\ dwavestop 0 ;だから、それだけを返した。他に言葉は見つからなかった。 ;入室してから出るまでに、口にしたのはこれだけだった。\ `I couldn't think of anything else to say. `That was the only sound I uttered from the moment I entered the room till the moment I left it.\ ;俺の返事を受け、 ;手に持ったボールペンを走らせる先生。\ `Apparently that was a good enough response. `The doctor produced a biro and began scribbling.\ ;恐らくはホスピスへの手続きだろう。 ;あくまでも事務的な態度だった。オヤジも似たようなもんだった。\ `The formalities this time revolved around admitting me into the hospice ward. `The doctor had switched into business mode. My father did the same.\ ;…こんな簡単なモンなんだ…\ ;それが俺の率直な感想だった。\ `As for me, all I could do was sit and be amazed at the efficiency of the proceedings.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;そして、その日を境に４階から７階へと、 ;６人部屋から個室へと変わった。\ `They moved me from the fourth floor to the seventh, and from a six-bed ward to a private room.\ bg "e\byoin7_rouka.jpg",5 ;それと、この７階自体は他の階と少し違っていた。\ `The seventh floor differed from the others in a number of respects.\ ;まず、床がピカピカになっていた。 ;天井も今までより、ずっと高く広々としていた。\ `The floors gleamed. The ceiling was higher, the rooms more spacious than before.\ ;病室の中もすごく綺麗で、大きな窓からは、 ;明るく日光を採り入れる仕組みなっているようだった。\ `The bedrooms were pleasant and clean, with large windows designed to maximise the natural lighting.\ ;…だけど、窓は少ししか開かなかった。\ `But these windows were not designed to open.\ ;試しに計ってみると、 ;ちょうど頭がギリギリ通らない幅だった。\ `When pushed to their fullest extent, the gap was still so narrow that I couldn't even get my head quite through it.\ ;他にも、認識用の腕輪の色が変わった。\ `One other thing was different: the colour of the patients' identification wristbands.\ ;入院した日から、ずっと手首に巻かれていたビニール製の腕輪。 ;俺の名前や血液型が記載されていた。\ `I'd been wearing one of these ever since I was first admitted to the hospital. `They were just plastic bands with the patient's name and blood group on them.\ ;その色が、青から白に変わった。\ `My old one had been blue. This one was white.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;…高い天井、白いビニールの腕輪、１５ｃｍしか開かない窓。\ ;そんな７階に移ったのは、 ;まだ、新春のつまらない番組が流れている頃だった。\ ;あの子と初めて出会ったのも、そんな年を明けてまもない頃だった…\ `That was my introduction to the seventh floor: high ceilings, white wristbands, and windows that only opened about 15 centimetres.\ `It was still the time of year when all you can get on TV is boring festive programmes.\ `That, in a way, is how I came to meet her...\ mp3fadeout 2500 stop bg "e\w.jpg",3 bg "e\nar01.jpg",5 bg "e\nar01.jpg",5 bg "e\nar01c.jpg",1 bg "e\nar01d.jpg",3 bg "e\w.jpg",3 mov %flg_pro,1 mov %flg_bplay,1 goto *honpen2 *honpen2 dwavestop 1 ;mov $sys_midasi,"７階" mov $sys_midasi,"`The Seventh Floor" stop mp3fadeout 2500 bg "e\b.jpg",5 bg "e\c04_h.jpg",3 click mp3loop "bgm\n04.mp3" bg "e\byoin7_rouka.jpg",3 setwindow 100,358,35,17,17,17,0,3,1,1,5,#ffffff,0,0,799,599 !sd erasetextwindow 0 ;廊下の横、ナースステーションの向かいにある、 ;談話室のような場所。\ `If you go down the corridor past the nurse's station, you'll come to a lounge area off to one side.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",5 ;人気のないその場所に設置された、 ;いくつかのソファーやパイプ椅子、それと大きめのテレビ。\ `The place was usually empty apart from the furniture, which when I was there consisted of a number of sofas and pipe chairs, and one TV.\ ;その２８型のブラウン管からは、 ;どうでもいい新春特番が今日も流れていた。\ `It wasn't a particularly impressive one (only a 28" CRT), and at that time of year all it was showing was boring festive specials.\ ;そんなつまらないテレビを、 ;さも、つまらなさそうに見ている、どこかの女の子。\ `She was watching it without the slightest sign of interest.\ ;小柄な身体に、ピンクのパジャマ。 ;手首には俺と同じ、白の腕輪。\ `Her build was slight, her pyjamas pink, and there was a white band like mine round her wrist.\ ;腰に届くほどの長い髪が印象的だった。\ `What really stood out about her was her hair, which reached nearly to her waist.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;「なあ、お前…それ面白いか？」\ `"You aren't... enjoying that, are you?"\ dwavestop 0 ;深い意味はない。 ;ひと気がないので、何となくその横顔に話し掛けた。\ `I didn't really mean anything by the question. `I just felt it was my duty to say something. As the sole other member of the human race present.\ ;「別に…」\ `"Not really..."\ dwavestop 0 ;只、それだけを返す女の子。 ;声を掛けた俺に振り向きもしなかった。\ `She replied curtly, without so much as a glance in my direction.\ ;俺のことは一切気にしていないのか、 ;ずっとつまらなそうにテレビを見続けたままだった。\ `Perhaps she hadn't really registered my presence. `Her eyes remained fixed on the screen in front of her.\ ;…だったら、見なきゃいいのに…\ `Don't watch it, then, I said... nearly.\ ;そう思いながらも、 ;同じようにパイプ椅子に腰を掛ける俺。\ `Discretion overruled me, and I lowered myself into a chair instead.\ ;そして、並ぶようにしてテレビを眺めた。 ;他にすることもなかった。出来ることもなかった。\ `And sat there beside her watching the tedious programme. `There wasn't anything else for me to do. There wasn't anything else I could do.\ bg "e\w.jpg",3 bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;…黙ってテレビを眺め続ける俺達…\ `We watched on in silence.\ ;ブラウン管の中からは、正月にありがちな新春番組。 ;くだらないモノマネだか隠し芸だかがやっていた。\ `The screen was filled with the usual January twaddle. `A tedious variety show, all conjurers and impersonators.\ ;時折響く、司会者のバカみたいにカン高い笑い声。 ;真っ白くて日当たりの良いこの部屋に、乾き、響いていた。\ `From time to time the speakers would rattle with the compere's shrill and foolish laughter. `It echoed emptily in the sunlit room.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",5 !s100 ;「ねえ…あなた…」\ `"...so..."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;突然、話し掛けてきた女の子。 ;相変わらずテレビを見つめたままだった。\ `It took me a moment to realise that she'd spoken. `Her eyes still hadn't left the TV screen for one moment.\ !s90 ;「…あなた、何回目？」\ `"Which time are you on...?"\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「…何回目って、どういう意味だ？」\ `"I'm... not sure what you mean."\ dwavestop 0 !s85 ;「ここに…７階に来たの」\ `"I mean, how many times have you been up here?"\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「悪い、質問の意味がわからない」\ `"Sorry... I still don't understand."\ dwavestop 0 ;「………………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「そう…初めてなんだね」\ `"It must be your first, then."\ dwavestop 0 ;何を言ってるのか理解できない俺に、 ;彼女は勝手に納得したようだった。\ `My incomprehension was evidently a sufficient answer for her.\ ;「じゃあ、他に誰も居ないし…わたしの役目だから…」\ `"In that case, I suppose it's up to me... since there's nobody else here now..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…役目？」\ `"It's up to you...?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「そういうルールなの…」\ `"That's the rule..."\ dwavestop 0 ;頷きながら、初めてここ（７階）に来た人には、 ;誰かが教えてあげるルールなんだと付け足した。\ `The rule, she added, was that newcomers to this seventh floor were to be told certain things.\ ;いまいち何のことか分からない俺。\ `I had no idea what she was talking about.\ ;そんな俺を、無視するかのように、 ;彼女はゆっくりと話し始めた。\ `She began to explain, still without so much as a glance in my direction.\ ;「それじゃあ、よく聞いてね…」\ `"Listen carefully, then..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;…………\ `............\ ;ぽつりぽつりと語る彼女の言葉。\ `She spoke haltingly.\ ;それは、ここに来るまでに聞いた、 ;医者の先生の弁とは少し違っていた。\ `What she had to tell me differed in certain regards from the speech I'd received prior to my transfer up here.\ ;あの事務的な医者の話しでは、ここは医療の進歩を待つ場所であると言った。\ ;心を癒す場所でもあると言った。 `According to the doctors, this was where one would come to wait for advances in treatments; in the meantime, being here might heal one's heart.\ ;恐らく、一般的にはそれで正しいのだろう。\ `He was probably sincere. He may even have been telling the truth.\ ;でも、彼女の言によるとそれは建前だそうだ。\ `According to what the girl told me, however, that's merely the official line.\ ;この７階ってのは、病院内にあって、唯一治療をする場所じゃないらしい。\ `This was not, in fact, the part of the hospital where unique treatments are tried.\ ;只、命が尽きるのを待つ場所。\ `It was where you wait for your life to run out.\ ;そう彼女は言った。 ;俺もそう思えた。同じ認識だと思った。\ `That's what she told me. I believed it. I'd pretty much come to the same conclusion myself.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",3 ;「わたし、２回目だから…」\ `"So this is my second time..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「２回目ってなにが？」\ `"Your second time for what?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…ここに来るの」\ `"...that I've ended up here."\ dwavestop 0 ;そして、彼女は教えてくれた。\ `Finally she got round to explaining the whole "times" business.\ ;この７階って場所は、 ;最初の入院でそのまま死ぬまで居ることは、まず無いらしい。\ `Firstly, that this isn't usually just a place where you come and stay until you die.\ ;治ることは有りえなくても、 ;体調がマシになると１度は家に帰してくれる。\ `Even if there's no chance of recovery, they let you go home temporarily if your condition improves.\ ;でも、暫くして悪くなると、またここへ帰ってくる。\ `Then after a while you decline again, and they bring you back.\ ;…その繰り返しで、いつか死ぬ。\ `You go back and forth, and eventually it ends.\ ;尽きる場所が、家か７階かの違いだけで、 ;確実にどちらかで死ぬ。避けた奴はいないそうだ。\ `The only uncertainty is whether you'll be at home, or here on the seventh floor, when the time comes. `You'll die, here or there. It's happened to everyone.\ ;そういう意味での、 ;彼女はここに来たのは２回目という意味だった。\ `And that's the sense in which she was referring to this as the second time she'd ended up here.\ ;「じゃあ、１度しか言わないから…」\ `"Now, I'm only going to say this once..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ここからは、よく聞いて…」\ `"So you've got to listen carefully from now on."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;…乾いた画面を見つめたまま、更に言葉を続ける彼女。\ `She continued, her pose unchanged, her eyes still on the screen.\ ;その内容は、消灯時間が何時かって、 ;普通の入院患者が交わす内容ではなかった。\ `The subject changed, but not to everyday trivia like lights-out times.\ ;全然違ったことを教えてくれた。\ `There was something rather different she had to tell me.\ ;『３回目に仮退院させてくれたら、覚悟しろ。 ;　４回目はまずない。もう家には帰れない』\ `"When you reach your third temporary discharge, prepare yourself. There's hardly ever a fourth time. You won't be going home again."\ ;『もしも逃げたい時は、Ａ駅ではなくＢ駅に行くこと』\ `"If you want to run away, don't try to use M--- station; go to K----- station instead."\ ;『何も食べるな。それが一番の近道。 ;　家族にとっても一番負担が小さくて済む』\ `"Don't eat anything. That's the best way out. You'll put the least burden on your family that way."\ ;…そんな、身に詰まるような内容ばかりだった。\ ;恐らく、ここに来た人間だけの…\ ;死ぬゆく当事者達だけで、伝え続けてきたことなんだと思う。\ `These, I realised, were the maxims of the seventh floor.\ `The received wisdom distilled from the experiences of those who had faced death here.\ `Our lore, passed down orally from one ephemeral generation to the next.\ `Our 'ars moriendi'.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",3 ;「もしかして、さっきの役目ってのは、これのことか？」\ `"Was telling me that the thing you said was up to you?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「ええ、そうよ…」\ `"That's right..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「いつかあなたも、初めて来た人には伝えてね…」\ `"It'll be up to you to pass it on to the next newcomer."\ dwavestop 0 ;その言葉を最後に、ゆっくりと立ち上がる彼女。 ;ふわりと長い髪が揺れ、俺の鼻先をかすめた。\ `That concluded the lecture. `As she rose and turned, her hair swept round; a lock brushed against my cheek.\ ;「じゃあ、検温の時間だから…」\ `"Time for my temperature reading..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;そして、そのまま背を向けると、 ;廊下へ向かって歩き始めてしまった。\ `She turned her back on me and walked off, out into the corridor.\ ;一人残されたこの場所には、 ;ブラウン管からの笑い声と、窓辺に飾られた白い花。\ `I was left alone in the room, alone with the shrilly laughing TV and the white flowers by the window.\ ;結局彼女は、一度として俺の方を見ようともしなかった。\ `She had not looked at me once.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 mp3fadeout 2000 stop bg "e\c042_h.jpg",5 bg "e\sora01.jpg",5 ;それから何日か過ぎた頃。\ `Some days passed.\ mp3loop "tui2\e01.mp3" ;やっと新春特番が終わり、 ;そろそろ中学や高校では、三学期が始まろうとする頃。\ `It was the time of year when TV schedules return to normal, the start of the so-called spring term.\ ;今日もこの談話室では、 ;テレビをぼ〜っと眺める俺と彼女の姿があった。\ `We were in the lounge again, staring at the TV as usual.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",5 ;「つまらねえな…」\ `"This is crap."\ dwavestop 0 ;「そうね…」\ `"Yeah..."\ dwavestop 0 ;言葉ではそう返すが、 ;お互いに画面を見つめ続けたままの会話だった。\ `And yet we carried on watching as we talked.\ ;「なあ、ここっていつもこんななのか？」\ `"Is it always like this up here?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…質問の意味がわからない」\ `"I'm not sure what you're getting at."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ああ、ひと気がないって意味さ」\ `"I mean, is it always this quiet?"\ dwavestop 0 ;看護婦や医者、それにヘルパーの人を除けば、 ;お互いの付き添い以外に、誰の姿も見ていなかった。\ `If you discount the doctors and nurses and their helpers - the people who look after us - then I haven't seen anyone up here but the two of us.\ ;「やっぱり、正月明けだからか？」\ `"Is it just because it's early in the year?"\ dwavestop 0 dwavestop 0 ;「…その理由を知りたいの？」\ `"...do you want to know the reason?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「あ、いや、別にそんな意味じゃ…」\ `"Uh, no, not that badly..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…じゃあ…言わない」\ `"...then I shan't tell you."\ dwavestop 0 ;そんな会話ともつかぬやり取りを、淡々と交わす俺達。\ `That sort of exchange was the closest we got to conversation.\ ;１５ｃｍしか開かない窓から入ってくる、僅かな風。\ `The windows were open to their fullest extent; the gap that afforded was meagre, but it let the air in.\ ;時折、彼女の長い髪を揺らし、 ;同じように揺れる、窓辺に飾られた白い花。\ `So there was a gentle breeze in the room, enough to stir the girl's hair. `Enough to bring life to the room's only decoration, the white flowers by the window.\ ;お互い、つまらないテレビを見つめたまま、 ;時間だけを消費する日々だった。\ `That was how we passed the time. `Sitting drearily in front of a dull television.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 dwave 1,"se\hayaasi.wav" ;タッタッタ、\ `The sound of approaching footsteps.\ ;「あら、二人共こんなところに居たの？」\ `"So this is where you've been!"\ dwavestop 0 ;そう言って駆け寄ってきた、年配の看護婦さん。\ `This was our nurse, a woman advanced in years.\ ;たまにナースステーションを覗いた限りでは、 ;この人が７階のチーフのようだった。\ `From what I'd been able to gather from passing glances into the nurse's station, she was the one in charge of the seventh floor.\ ;「どう？　セツミさん、熱出てない？」\ `"How are you, Setsumi-san? Not running a fever, I hope?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…大丈夫、出てない…」\ `"No... I'm fine..."\ dwavestop 0 ;…セツミ。@ ;どうやらそれが彼女の名前のようだった。\ `Setsumi.@ ` `That was her name. That was how I learnt it.\ ;「もう勝手に外をうろついたりしちゃ駄目ですからね」\ `"Well, as long as you don't go wandering around outside by yourself again..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「いいですか？　皆んな心配するんですからね」\ `"All right? You had us all horribly worried."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…別に、いいよ…」\ `"...oh, whatever..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「まあ、なんて言い草なんでしょ」\ `"Well, what a thing to say!"\ dwavestop 0 dwavestop 0 ;「もう、ホントに最近の子はしょうがないわね」\ `"I don't know, young people today..."\ dwavestop 0 ;それから暫くの間、小言を続ける看護婦さん。\ `The nurse scolded on in the background.\ ;それを彼女…セツミと呼ばれたこの子は、 ;素知らぬ様子で聞き流していた。\ `The girl... Setsumi?... just sat there, apparently ignoring her, with an expression of utter disinterest.\ ;小うるさい看護婦を無視するように、 ;正面のつまらないテレビを見続けたままだった。\ `She stared all the more determinedly at the television, though the programme was as boring as usual.\ ;「じゃあ、また後で採血に行きますからね」\ `"...and don't forget, we've got to take you for another blood sample later."\ dwavestop 0 ;その言葉を最後に、 ;再びナースステーションへと帰って行く看護婦さん。\ `The scolding subsided at last, and the nurse departed for her station.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",3 ;「なあ、お前ってさ…」\ `"Um, are you..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「いや…セツミで、いいんだよな？」\ `"I mean... can I call you Setsumi?"\ dwavestop 0 ;彼女の手首に巻かれた、白いビニールの腕輪。 ;そこに書かれた血液型と名前を見ながら尋ねた。\ `As I asked, I squinted at her wristband, trying to read the name (and blood group) that I knew would be written on it.\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「どうかしたか？　セツミ？」\ `"Are you okay? Setsumi?"\ ;「…どうして呼び捨てなの？」\ `"...how dare you leave off the honorific?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「はあ？」\ `"...sorry?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「年下のくせに…」\ `"A kid like you..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「お、おい、なんで俺が、年下なんだよ？」\ `"You what? How do you make out I'm a kid?!"\ dwavestop 0 ;「別に…そう思っただけ」\ `"Aren't you? Compared to me, anyway."\ dwavestop 0 ;”年下”という言葉に腹を立てた訳じゃない。\ `My blood boiled. It wasn't exactly that I objected to being thought of as young.\ ;只、どう見ても俺の方が５〜６才は上に思える。\ `It was just that the girl had to be at least five years younger than me. Probably six.\ ;だから俺は、胸ポケットに入れていた、 ;例の免許証を彼女へと差し向けた。\ `That's why I reacted the way I did. Why I reached into my breast pocket, pulled out that licence, and thrusted it at her.\ ;「どうだ、こう見えても俺、２０才だぞ？」\ `"All right? I may look young, but I'm 20, see?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;免許証には一瞥をくれただけで、それだけを返す彼女。\ `Her eyes flickered momentarily towards the licence.\ ;「やっぱり年下よ…」\ `"Like I said. A kid."\ dwavestop 0 ;「おい、よく分からねえぞ」\ `"What's that meant to mean?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「どうでもいいじゃない…少し上なだけよ」\ `"Does it matter? I'm just a bit older than that, that's all."\ dwavestop 0 ;相変わらず無表情のまま彼女が呟く。\ `Her face was expressionless, as always.\ ;その目は、つまらないテレビを見たままにも、 ;どこか遠いところを見ているようにも思えた…\ `And her eyes remained fixed on the TV. `But it seemed to me they were focused not on the screen, but on some point in the far distance...\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 mp3fadeout 2000 stop bg "e\byoin7_rouka.jpg",3 mp3loop "tui\sen032.mp3" ;朝の検温が終わった頃。\ ;俺は看護婦に見つからないようにエレベータに乗り込む。\ `The next morning, after my temperature reading, I sneaked into the lift and took it down to the ground floor.\ bg "e\byoin_rouka.jpg",3 ;１階に着くと、わざと外来用の出入り口を通って、 ;そのまま病院の外へと歩き始める。\ `The outpatients' exit was unwatched. I crept out that way and headed for the exit from the hospital campus.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;目指す場所は、以前に教えられた、 ;近いＡ駅ではなく、遠いＢ駅。\ `My intended destination was the further of the two nearby stations. `I had learned the rules by heart. "Don't try to use M--- station; go to K----- station instead."\ ;別に、逃げ出すつもりじゃなかった。\ `I wasn't exactly trying to run away.\ ;…７階か自宅… ;そのどちらか以外で死んだ奴はいない…\ ;以前にそう聞いていた。\ `I knew that was no good. I would die on the seventh floor, or at home.\ `I knew there was no other option. If anyone had tried to run, they hadn't escaped.\ ;そして、あのセツミとかいう彼女も、 ;何度か行ったらしいＢ駅。\ `But the girl, Setsumi... I gathered she'd been as far as this station several times.\ ;だから、なんとなく一度は、 ;その場所を見てみたかっただけだった。\ `I just wanted to try it for myself. See it for myself.\ ;「別に、監視員が居る訳じゃないだろう…」\ `It wasn't like there were going to be guards on the lookout.\ ;そう思いつつも、俺達は７階の住人。 ;他の入院患者とは違う。\ `Nonetheless, we were the inhabitants of the seventh floor. `We weren't like the other patients.\ ;もしかしたら…とも考えながら、 ;まだ早朝の駅までの道を歩き続ける。\ `Still wondering, I pressed on towards the station.\ ;急ぎ足で進む、通勤や通学の人達を横目に、 ;ゆっくりとした足取りで進みつづけた。\ `It was still early, and those around me were on their way to work or school. `I slowed my pace, but continued to walk.\ bg "e\w.jpg",3 bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;暫く歩いた頃、２５分ほどかかって到着した駅前。 ;バス停に換算すると４つ分ほどの距離だった。\ `It turned out to be about 25 minutes' walk to the station. `In bus terms, it would be about four stops away.\ ;「…それなりに人が多いな」\ `It was pretty crowded for its size.\ ;それがＢ駅を見た第一印象だった。\ `That was my first impression of the place.\ ;俺の服装がパジャマの為に、少しは目立ってしまうけど…\ ;しかし、このまま電車の切符を買えば、何の問題もなく、どこにでも行けるようにも思えた。\ ;どうしてＡ駅ではなく、このＢ駅を勧めるのかは分からない。\ ;でも、本当に逃げ出すつもりなら簡単に思えた。\ `If I'd been trying to escape, it would have been stupidly easy. `I stood out rather, being dressed in pyjamas, but even so nobody challenged me.\ `Whether things would have been different at M--- station, I don't know, but here I could just have bought a ticket and jumped on a train to anywhere, no questions asked.\ ;確か彼女も何度か来た筈だけど、 ;どうして彼女は、今も７階に留まっているのだろうか…\ ;早朝の駅前。\ ;足早に通り過ぎる人達を眺めながら、 ;ふと、そんなことを思っていた。\ `There was something funny about this. `She'd been here. She'd come this far several times, if I understood correctly.\ `That's what puzzled me, as I stood there in the morning sunlight, watching the comings and goings of passers-by.\ `Why did she stop here? `Why was she still living on the seventh floor?\ bg "e\sora_yoru01.jpg",5 ;その夜。消灯時間も過ぎた頃。\ `Night fell. Lights-out time passed.\ ;マンガ本にも飽き、寝付けなかった俺は、 ;一人で病院内をぶらぶらとしていた。\ `Tired of reading, and unable to sleep, I ended up wandering around the hospital.\ ;通常、消灯後にうろつくと、こうるさく言われるが、 ;俺達７階の住人は比較的自由だった。\ `As an ordinary patient I wouldn't have dared risk the nurses' wrath in such a way. `But we of the seventh floor were given more freedom than most.\ ;そして、照明を落とされ、 ;真っ暗になったいつもの談話室。\ `My wandering feet led me down the dimly illuminated corridor and into the lounge area.\ ;そこで、あいつの姿を見つけた。\ `That's where she was, too.\ bg "e\danwa_yoru.jpg",3 ;「よう、今日は外、見てるのか？」\ `"Heh, you're looking outside for a change today?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…うん」\ `"...yeah."\ dwavestop 0 ;暗い室内。返事はするが、 ;その顔は窓の外に向けたままの彼女。\ `She was standing by the window in the darkened room. `She acknowledged my presence, but her face did not turn from the glass.\ ;早速俺は、今日あったことを話し始める。\ `I began to tell her about my day.\ ;「そういえばさ…昼間、駅前まで行ってきたぞ」\ `"Hey, you know what? I went to the station today."\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「教えられた通り、Ｂ駅の方に行ってみた」\ `"To K----- station, of course, like you told me. Just to have a look."\ ;「そう…」\ `"Really..."\ dwavestop 0 ;でも、彼女の反応は普段と変わらなかった。\ `The usual response.\ ;以前に彼女も行った筈だから、 ;何らかの反応があると思ったのだけど…\ `I'd hoped that talking about a shared experience might cause her to open up a little.\ ;それを考えると、今も彼女がここに留まるのは、@ ;本当は、最初から抜け出すつもりもなかったのだろうか？\ `But maybe it wasn't really something she cared about.@ ` `Maybe she was still here because she wasn't interested in running.\ ;「…わたし、もうすぐ帰れるの…」\ `"I'll be... going home again soon..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「えっ？」\ `"Eh?"\ ;突然、口を開いた彼女。\ `That took me by surprise. She'd never volunteered any personal information like that before.\ ;まるで、今の俺の心を、 ;見透かされたような言葉だった。\ `But I could see the connection. `I reckoned she could tell what I'd been thinking.\ ;「でも、次で３回目だから…@もう会えないかもね…」\ `"If I come back it'll be my third time. So...@ ` we might not meet again."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ん…ああ、そうだな…」\ `"Um... yeah, I suppose..."\ dwavestop 0 ;恐らくこいつが言うところの帰れるってのは、 ;仮退院のことを指しているのだろう。\ `By "going home", she had to be referring to a temporary discharge.\ ;この７階って場所では、 ;３回以上の入退院を繰り返すことは、まず無いらしい。\ `The lore was quite clear on this point: basically nobody was admitted to the seventh floor more than three times.\ ;特に高齢者と違い、病状の進行速度を考えると、 ;俺達のような若い年代なら尚更のことだった。\ `That applied to us above all. The condition progresses faster in our age group than among older people.\ ;そういう意味での、もう会えないという言葉だった。\ `She was quite right. It was entirely plausible that we might never meet again.\ !s80 ;「ねえ…あなたはどちらを選ぶの？」\ `"Tell me... which will you choose?"\ ;「…選ぶとは？」\ `"Which what?"\ ;「…どっちで、死ぬつもりってこと」\ `"...where will you decide to die?"\ ;「…………」\ `"............"\ !sd ;突然、『死』という単語を聞かされ、 ;俺は一瞬だけ言葉に詰まってしまう。\ `"Die". Such a sudden word, spoken so suddenly. `For a moment I'm at a loss for a reply.\ ;「さあな…まだ考えてない」\ `"I don't know... haven't really thought about it."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…そう…まだ１回目だもんね」\ `"No... you're still on your first time..."\ dwavestop 0 ;そう呟いて寂しそうにする彼女。\ `Her response was muted, murmured. Disappointed.\ ;もちろん俺だって、 ;いつまでもここに居れる訳はない。\ `She was right. I would have to decide sooner or later. I couldn't stay here for ever.\ ;他の皆んなのように、 ;何回か入退院を繰り返して、徐々に弱って、いつかは…\ `I was going to go through the same process as everyone else before me. `Out. Back in, weaker. Back out. Back in, weaker still.\ ;結局最後には、この７階か、 ;薄っぺらい笑顔に囲まれた家かを選ぶことになるのだろう。\ `I would only have one decision to make: whether to die here on the seventh floor, or at home, smothered in false smiles.\ !s90 ;「わたしは…家は嫌…」\ `"I don't want to... die at home..."\ dwavestop 0 !w300 ;「だけど、ここも嫌…」\ `"...but I can't face it here either..."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「…じゃあ、どうすんだ？」\ `"What will you do, then?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 !s90 ;「…別に…どうもしない…」\ `"...there's not a lot I can."\ dwavestop 0 !w200 !s80 ;「自力で歩ける内に、どこかに行くだけ…」\ `"Maybe I'll just... walk, for as long as I can..."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「どこかって、お前…」\ `"Where to?"\ ;明らかに逃げる気になれば逃げれるのに、 ;今もこの７階に留まっている彼女。\ ;それを考えると…\ `So she was planning to run away.\ `But then why, why, was she still here?\ ;「…もしかして、他に行くあてがあるのか？」\ `"Do you, uh, have anywhere in mind?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 !s80 ;「あなた…わたしを引き止めたいの？」\ `"Are you going to try and stop me?"\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「えっ…」\ `"I, uh..."\ dwavestop 0 !s80 ;「それとも…一緒について来たいの？」\ `"Or... were you hoping to come with me?"\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「あ、いや、別にそんな意味じゃないけど…」\ `"No, that... that's not why, I was just, uh... you know... asking..."\ dwavestop 0 dwavestop 0 ;「…じゃあ…聞かないで…」\ `"Please... don't."\ dwavestop 0 ;窓の外を見つめたまま淡々と話す彼女。 ;相変わらず俺の方は見ようともしない会話だった。\ `She spoke disinterestedly, without lifting her gaze from the window for a moment. `She still had not once so much as looked at me.\ ;でも、その時だけは…\ ;いつもの無表情な横顔が哀しそうに見えた。\ `And though her face, such of it as I could see, was always expressionless, now I thought I saw a despair in it that had not been there before.\ bg "e\sora_yoru01.jpg",5 ;３回目の仮退院が最後だと教えられ、 ;初めてこの７階に来た俺。\ ;そして、間もなく２回目を迎える彼女。\ ;まだ俺には、リアルで起こった事として実感できないけど…\ `'The third admission is the last'. That's what the lore said. `And she was coming to the end of her second time.\ `There was no way that I, a first-timer, would understand what that meant. `I, who had still not fully grasped the certainty and imminence of my own mortality.\ ;いつかは俺も、 ;あんな顔をするようになるのだろうか…\ `I knew that would change. Soon I too would have cause to wear that face...\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 stop mp3fadeout 2500 dwave 1,"se\rain_1.wav" bg "e\sora_ame01.jpg",3 ;未明から降り出した雨。\ `It was raining.\ ;時折、みぞれや雪に変わりながらも、 ;しとしとと降り続いていた。\ `From time to time the rain would soften to sleet or harden to snow, would sheet or drizzle, but it never stopped.\ mp3loop "bgm\n03.mp3" bg "e\danwa_ame.jpg",3 ;そんな中、いつもの場所でテレビを見ている俺。 ;相変わらず、この７階はひと気がなかった。\ `I was indoors, of course. `Sitting in my usual place, in front of the TV on the empty seventh floor.\ ;「…おもしろい？」\ `"Is there anything on?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「いいや、つまらない…」\ `"The usual crap..."\ dwavestop 0 ;向こうからやってきた彼女。\ ;それだけの言葉を交わすと、 ;黙って隣のパイプ椅子へと腰掛ける。\ `She passed behind me and lowered herself into the next chair without another word.\ ;そして今日も、二人してつまらないテレビを眺め始めた。\ `Clearly we were going to have another thrilling day.\ ;…きっと彼女もそうなんだろう。\ `She was probably just as bored as I was.\ ;他にやることもなかった。やれることもなかった。\ `But we had nothing better to do. There was nothing else we could do.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;「あ……」\ `"...oh!..."\ dwavestop 0 ;珍しくテレビに反応した彼女。\ `A reaction? This was unprecedented.\ ;「どうかしたか？」\ `"What is it?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…別に」\ `"...nothing."\ dwavestop 0 ;言葉はいつも通りの『別に』だが、 ;普段とは違う彼女の反応。\ `Her reply was the same as ever. `But she wouldn't have gasped for nothing.\ ;それが気になった俺も画面に注目した。\ `Startled and intrigued, all at once I began to take in what the TV was showing.\ bg "e\w.jpg",3 ;テレビの中にはどこかの自然風景。 ;綺麗な野山に、樹木や花が景色に溶け込んでいた。\ `It was some natural history programme. `The screen was filled with the countryside; trees and flowers mingled in the background.\ ;そして、そこに映し出されていた、たくさんの白い花。\ `The focus, however, was on the foreground. A host of white flowers.\ bg "e\tv_hana.jpg",5 ;…見覚えのある花だった。\ `Flowers I recognised.\ ;今もこの部屋の窓辺に飾られている、 ;目の前の白い花と似ていた。\ `They looked just like the ones that were still by the window, decorating the lounge.\ ;「もしかして、同じ花か？」\ `"Aren't those what we've got in here?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「ほら、これってそっくりじゃん」\ `"They look the same, don't they?"\ dwavestop 0 ;言いながら、ブラウン管と窓辺を交互に指差す俺。\ `I pointed at the screen, then at the vase by the window.\ ;「…ちがう」\ `"They aren't."\ dwavestop 0 ;「へえ、そうなんだ？」\ `"Are you sure? They look like it..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「種類は同じだけど…厳密に言えば違う…」\ `"Same species... different variety."\ dwavestop 0 ;窓辺の花には一瞥をくれただけで、また正面のテレビを見続けたまま答える彼女。\ `She had barely glanced at the flowers here before her eyes swung back to those on the screen.\ ;正直言って、違うと否定されても、俺にはその両者の区別が分からなかった。\ `To be perfectly frank, even knowing they were not the same thing, I was still unable to detect any way in which the two varieties differed.\ ;それに、俺にとっては花が同じであろうが、違っていようが、別にどうでも良いことだった。\ `It was all the same to me anyway. Botany was not a subject for which I had ever felt any particular passion.\ ;それよりも、普段なら決して話しに乗ってこない彼女。\ ;その彼女が珍しく言葉を続けていた。だから俺も、話しを合わせてみた。\ `I stuck with the subject not because it interested me, but because it appeared to interest her.\ `It was rare for her to allow a conversation to continue even this far.\ bg "e\danwa_ame.jpg",5 ;「お前ってさ、もしかして詳しいのか？　こーゆーのに」\ `"You seem to know an awful lot. Is this the kind of thing you're into?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…別に」\ `"Not really."\ dwavestop 0 ;「そうか？　でも俺には違いが分からねえよ」\ `"What, really? I'd thought you'd need to be, to be able to see the difference..."\ ;ブラウン管の向こうに咲く白い花。 ;それと彼女の横顔の向こうに在る花瓶の花。\ `Two sets of flowers. One alive but distant, the sea of white blooms within the screen. `The other so near, just beyond the girl... but dying in a vase.\ ;ぼんやりと、その両者を眺めながら、尚も言葉を続けた。\ `I made another attempt to revive the conversation.\ ;「なあなあ、これってさ、蘭とか百合ってのか？」\ `"What are they, anyway? Orchids, or lilies, or something?"\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「ほら、白っぽい色してるしさ」\ `"I can't think of anything else white..."\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;興味もないくせに、適当に言葉を続ける俺。\ ;だけど…@彼女は、すぐにいつもの調子で黙ってしまう。\ ;相変わらずの様子で、つまらないブラウン管を見つめるだけだった。\ ;そして、もう会話にはのってくれないのかと諦め、再び俺も、テレビに視線を戻そうとした時…\ `This was hard going. I did my best to feign interest, but it was all I could do to keep talking.\ `As for the girl, she'd already apparently lapsed back into her usual silent and detached state.\ `Either the subject didn't appeal to her after all, or she had realised it didn't appeal to me.\ `I was on the verge of giving up and switching off myself, when...\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 ;「…ナルキッソス…」\ `"Narcissi..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「えっ…」\ `"What?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「ナルキッソスよ…」\ `"They're narcissi."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chara_0013.jpg",5 bg "e\chara_001.jpg",5 ;答えながら…@初めて、俺に顔を向けた。\ `As she spoke...@ ` she looked at me for the first time.\ ;腰まである長い髪を揺らして… ;テレビの画面に映った花を指しながら、俺を見つめた。\ `Shaking her waist-length hair, and indicating the flowers on the screen with one slender finger, she turned to face me.\ ;画面に映った花と同じような、 ;手首に巻いた白いビニールの腕輪と、白い肌。\ `Her skin was paler than the flowers on the screen, but whiter still was the band round her wrist.\ ;初めて見つめられたその顔は…\ `And for the first time I got a proper view of her face.\ ;僅かだけ微笑んでくれたようにも思えた。\ `It almost seemed to betray a hint of a smile.\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 stop mp3fadeout 2500 mov %flg_cha2,1 mov %flg_bplay,2 goto *mini_title *honpen3 dwavestop 1 ;mov $sys_midasi,"銀のクーペ" mov $sys_midasi,"`The Silver Coupe" setwindow 100,358,35,17,17,17,0,3,1,1,5,#ffffff,0,0,799,599 !sd erasetextwindow 0 bg "tui2\c0432_h.bmp",5 bg "e\b.jpg",3 mp3loop "tui2\e01.mp3" ;数日が過ぎ、冬が更に本格的になった頃。\ `The days proceeded into the height of winter.\ ;世間では受験シーズンと呼ばれる中、相変わらず俺達は、今日もテレビを眺めていた。\ `While the world outside moved on into the examination season, she and I were left on the seventh floor, watching television.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",3 ;「つまらねえな…」\ `"I'm bored..."\ ;「…そうね」\ `"...me too."\ dwavestop 0 ;会話とも呼べないやり取り。\ `You couldn't call it conversation, but at least we were talking.\ ;お互い、無意味に時間だけを消費する日々だった。\ `At least it passed the time.\ ;「そういえばお前って…いつだっけ？」\ `"You'll be out pretty soon now, won't you?"\ ;「…今日よ」\ `"Today."\ dwavestop 0 ;「そうか、今日だったか…」\ `"Sooner than I thought..."\ ;ここで俺たちが言うところの、「今日」とは、 ;以前に話してくれた、彼女の仮退院のことを指していた。\ ;This space deliberately left blank. ;「もう…会えないかもね」\ `"We probably shan't meet again."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ん？　ああ、そうだな…」\ `"Yeah... probably..."\ ;仮に、彼女がこの７階に再び帰ってこれたとしても、 ;あと１回が限度だろう。\ `Even if she did end up coming back to the seventh floor one last time, it would be the last.\ ;その間、きっと俺も、家とこの場所を行き来している筈。\ ;そんな俺達が、再び出会えるような、タイミングがあるとは思えなかった。\ `There was no guarantee that that would happen, and if it did, I might well have been at home myself at the time.\ `If anything, the odds were against it.\ ;「…あなた、決まった？」\ `"...have you chosen yet?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「例の、どっちで死ぬかってのか？」\ `"Chosen what? Where to die?"\ ;「うん」\ `"Yeah."\ dwavestop 0 ;「いや、まだだ…」\ `"No... not yet..."\ ;「…そう…」\ `"Fair enough..."\ dwavestop 0 ;少しだけ寂しそうに頷く彼女。 ;その表情は、２回目に仮退院する者、故なのだろう。\ ;まだ俺には実感が沸かないし、医者からは１回目の仮退院について触れられていない。\ `She nodded. She wasn't surprised. `Her eyes spoke of despair and isolation. Emotions I supposed to be inevitable for one on the verge of her second temporary discharge.\ `I could sympathise, but I didn't really know how she felt. I hadn't even been told when my first discharge would be yet.\ ;そういえば…\ ;結局彼女は、自分自身の答えは決まっているのだろうか…\ `Still, I wondered why she'd brought this subject up now.\ `Perhaps she'd made up her own mind...\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 dwave 1,"se\hayaasi.wav" ;タッタッタ、\ ;「セツミ、仕度できたわよ」\ `Before I could ask her, however, footsteps approached and an outsider's voice cut in.\ `"Setsumi! Are you ready?"\ ;そう言ってやって来た、どこかのおばさん。\ ;恐らくは彼女の母親なのだろう。 `A woman entered. The girl's mother, I guessed; she looked about the right age.\ ;隣に座っていた俺にも、小さく頭を下げてくれた。\ `She acknowledged my presence with a nod.\ ;「じゃあ、そろそろ、行くけど用意はいい？」\ `"I've got everything ready now. Shall we be going?"\ ;「…うん」\ `"Right..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「それでは、失礼します」\ `"Do excuse us, then."\ ;もう一度、俺に小さくお辞儀をすると、その場を立ち去ろうとするおばさん。\ ;そして、娘である彼女へと手を伸ばすのだけど…\ `This last was to me, and accompanied by another bow.\ `Then she turned to take the girl, her daughter, offering her a hand.\ ;「…………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;でも…彼女はその場を離れようとしなかった。\ `But she made no move to take it.\ ;母親に手を引かれるようにしても、何故かパイプ椅子から立ち上がろうとしなかった。\ `Her mother took a step closer and reached down to take her by the hand. But the girl wouldn't stand.\ ;「どうかしたの、セツミ？」\ `"Are you all right?"\ ;「少し…苦しい…」\ `"...it... hurts..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「えっ、苦しいって、どこが？　胸？お腹？」\ `"Where does it hurt?! Where is it, Setsumi? Is it your chest? Your stomach?"\ ;「…胸…」\ `"...my chest..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ちょ、ちょっと待ってなさい、すぐに先生呼んできますから」\ `"R, right, wait here, don't move, I'll call the doctor...!"\ dwave 1,"se\hayaasi.wav" ;タッタッタ、\ ;慌しく、来客用のスリッパを鳴らして、ナースステーションへと駆け出すおばさん。\ `The woman rushed off towards the nurse's station, her visitors' slippers flapping against the floor.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",3 ;残されたこの場所には、パイプ椅子に座って俯いたままの彼女と俺だけ。\ `Leaving the girl sitting there, alone once more but for me.\ ;その病状や進行等、俺には全く分からない。\ `I didn't know what was wrong with her, or how far her condition had progressed.\ ;俺が知っていることは、名前はセツミ、血液型Ｏ。 ;例の白い腕輪に書かれていることだけだった。\ `All I knew was that her name was Setsumi, and her blood group was O. `That's all that was written on her wristband.\ ;でも、俺達は７階の住人であり、少なくとも彼女は、俺以上なのだろう。\ `But I did know she'd been a seventh-floor case for longer than I had.\ ;「なあ、先生来るまで、そこで横になってるか？」\ `"Why don't you lie down there till the doctor gets here?"\ ;言いながら、長椅子を指差す。 ;以前からこの部屋の隅に備えてあった物だった。\ `I pointed to a couch.\ `It had been stuck in the corner of the room. We hadn't had any use for it.\ ;「ほら、背中支えてやるから」\ `"I could support your back, if you like."\ ;「…………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「別に…もう平気よ」\ `"No need... I'm okay now."\ dwavestop 0 ;それだけを告げると、さっと、自分から立ち上がる彼女。\ `She stood up by herself, to prove it.\ ;「お、おい、お前…」\ ;無理すんなよ。\ `"Hey, don't..."\ `...overdo things.\ ;っと、続けるよりも早く、さっさと、廊下へと歩き出してしまった。\ `Is what I was going to say. `But she was already walking, and she was out of sight before I could finish.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 mp3fadeout 2000 stop bg "e\sora_yoru01.jpg",5 ;夜。消灯時間も過ぎた頃。\ `Night time. After lights-out.\ ;いつものように、マンガ本にも飽き、寝付けなかった俺は、病院内をぶらぶらとしていた。\ `Finding myself once more tired of reading and yet unable to sleep, I ended up leaving my room as usual. ;そして、照明を落とされ、 ;真っ暗になったいつもの談話室。\ `My wandering feet led me down the dimly illuminated corridor and into the lounge area.\ ;そこで、あいつの姿を見つけた。\ `That's where she was, too.\ mp3loop "tui\sen032.mp3" bg "e\danwa_yoru.jpg",3 ;「よう、またここに居たのか…」\ `"What, still here...?"\ ;「…うん」\ `"Yeah..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「どうした？　また調子悪いのか？」\ `"What's up? Not feeling good?"\ ;「…別に」\ `"I'm fine."\ dwavestop 0 ;窓の外を見つめたまま、それだけを返す彼女。\ `She was standing in the dark again, staring out of the window.\ ;結局、彼女の仮退院は中止になったようだった。\ `Her discharge must have been cancelled, of course.\ ;これで、次の機会がいつになったのかは分からないが、恐らくは数日単位ではなく、週単位での延期なのだろう。\ `I didn't know whether it had been cancelled altogether, or merely postponed. `But if the latter, it would have been a question of weeks, not merely days.\ ;「なあ、もしかしてだけどさ…」\ `"You know, I'm beginning to wonder..."\ ;「今日のって…仮病か？」\ `"Was that real, earlier? Or were you faking it?"\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;いや、仮病って言い方も変かも知れない。 ;元々、俺達は普通の状態とは呼べない。\ `Maybe that was a bad way to put it. ;「要はお前…仮退院したくなかったからなのか？」\ `"I mean... was it because you didn't want to go home?"\ ;「…意味がわからないわよ」\ `"I'm not sure what you're getting at."\ dwavestop 0 ;「だってお前、もう後が無いだろ…」\ `"Wasn't that your last chance to leave?"\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;その問いには、黙ったまま何も返してくれなかった。\ `She had no answer. ;以前から彼女は、何度も、どちらで死ぬつもりと俺に問うてきた。\ `Several times over the last few weeks she'd put to me the question of where I intended to die.\ ;それに対して、まだ決めかねている俺と、家も７階も、どちらも嫌だと言っていた彼女。\ `I'd had no answer then, while she'd been quite emphatic that both options, both here and her home, appealed to her equally little.\ ;「やっぱりお前…」\ ;「他に、行くあてがある訳じゃないんだな…」\ `"You... don't have anywhere else to go, do you...?"\ !s90 ;「…だったら…@どうなのよ？」\ `"...well...@ ` what if I don't?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「いや、別に…」\ `"Never mind..."\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 !sd ;真っ暗になったいつもの談話室。\ `The room fell silent.\ ;相変わらず、俺の方は見ようともせず、彼女は窓の外を見つめたままだった。\ `She just stood there, staring out of the window. `She didn't say another word. She didn't so much as look at me.\ bg "e\sora_yoru01.jpg",5 ;まだ１１時だというのに、大部分の照明が落とされた、この病院という場所。\ `It was only about eleven o'clock, but nonetheless most of the lights were dimmed or out.\ ;…ここは、日常と非日常の接点。\ `This was a hospital. A point of contact between the everyday and the extraordinary.\ ;更に俺達は、７階の住人。 ;もう、７階と家以外を選ぶことは出来ない。\ `It was all the more so for us, the seventh-floor cases. This was our world.\ `We couldn't even go home without special arrangements. `We couldn't go anywhere else at all.\ ;そんな真っ暗な７階の窓から、 ;彼女が見つめたままの外の世界。日常の世界。\ `The world she was staring out into now from this dark seventh-floor room was one such somewhere else: the everyday world.\ ;まだ、ビルや家の灯りが煌々と光り、 ;家路を急ぐ人の、足早に歩く姿で溢れていた。\ `There were streets out there filled with houses and blocks that were still ablaze with light; streets filled with people hurrying to and fro, out to parties and home to bed.\ ;俺自身、まだ自覚は薄いが…\ `I was still struggling to come to terms with what I was now.\ ;既に俺は７階の住人。非日常の住人。\ `A resident of the seventh floor. An inhabitant of an extraordinary world.\ ;もうあの世界へ、帰れることはないだろう…\ `There was no place left for me outside.\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 dwave 1,"se\rain_1.wav" bg "e\sora_ame02.jpg",5 !s80 ;『…時間の止まったわたし…』\ `"Time has stopped for me..."\ !sd ;幾つもの季節を、白い梅雨空を、 ;誰とも言葉を交わす必要もなく過ごした…\ `I've passed all these seasons, under that white overcast sky, without needing to speak to anyone...\ ;最初の内は、窓から元気に登校する子供や、 ;足早に歩く人達を眺めていた。\ `At first I used to look out of the window, watching kids running to school, watching the world hurry by.\ ;それに飽きた頃、いつもテレビを見ていた。 ;他にすることもなかった。やれることもなかった。\ `When I got tired of that, I started watching TV more. `I didn't have anything better to do. I didn't really have any other options.\ ;窓の外は雪でも、ブラウン管の中は昼。\ `It helped, in a way. It didn't matter what it was like outside, whether it was snowing or whatever, if it was springtime on TV.\ ;寒さも、暑さも、痛さも無い、目の前に広がる夢の世界。\ `There was a world for me there. No cold, no heat, no pain. Just dreams.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 !s80 ;…仮想に安楽を求め…\ `A kind of vicarious happy life...\ !sd ;膨大な知識だけを増やし…@ ;無意味な価値観だけを築いて、築いて、積み上げて…\ `I ended up collecting a fair body of knowledge...@ ` `But what I picked up was just facts and figures to me.\ ;いつしか、テレビに映るモノが現実感を失った。\ `I'd somehow lost any sense that the things I saw on that TV screen were actually connected with reality.\ ;次は本の中、ゲームの中、そして家族…\ `The books I read went the same way: they didn't seem to be about real things, just abstract concepts. Games were the same.\ ;やがて、わたし自身のことですら、 ;まるで他人のように眺め、リアルとして認識できなくなった。\ `Ultimately it happened to people too. I didn't seem real myself. My consciousness was just an observer; my body, and the family fussing around it, mere objects of observation.\ ;だから、この７階に来た時も驚きはしなかった。\ `So being transferred up here to the seventh floor didn't change much for me.\ ;目を閉じれば、いつでも世界は消える。 ;だから平気だと思った。思うことにした。\ `Everything vanished in just the same way when I closed my eyes. `That was all I needed, I thought. Decided to think.\ ;そして、間もなく２回目の退院。\ `It didn't seem all that long before the time came for my second temporary discharge.\ ;次に来る時には、一人では歩けないかも知れない。\ `The next time I came back here, I couldn't even be sure I'd be capable of walking unaided.\ ;それがわかっているのに、 ;抗えない自分を情けないと思った。\ `I thought it was pathetic, really, the way I couldn't even struggle against that.\ ;…行き先すら持たない自分を、滑稽だとも思った。\ `I thought it was ridiculous, really, the way I didn't even have a place to go to.\ bg "e\chara_k01.jpg",5 !s80 ;「時間を止め、心を止め、胸に大きな傷跡を作り…」\ `"Stopping my life, stopping my heart, carving a long scar into my breast..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chara_k01.jpg",3 ;「それでも…@２２年も生きたのに哀れだと思った…」\ `"Even though I've lived 22 years...@ ` it still seems a shame..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",5 !sd stop mp3fadeout 2500 bg "tui2\c044_h.bmp",3 click bg "e\sora03.jpg",5 ;それから更に数日後…\ `The days continued to pass.\ ;先日までの曇り空が消え、 ;どこまでも高い、高い、冬空が広がっていた。\ `The previous days' clouds tore and scattered, and the winter's sky spread out clear and high.\ bg "e\byoin7_rouka.jpg",3 ;珍しく見舞いに来た親父。 ;終始、辛そうな顔をしていた。\ `My father made one of his rare visits. `His face was pained and drawn.\ ;でも、俺の保険がどうとか言っていた。\ ;その時の目は哀しそうではなかった。\ `The only time he seemed to cheer up was when he was talking about life assurance. `On me.\ ;「じゃあ、先生と少し話しがあるから…」\ `"Now, I need to have a word with the doctor too, so..."\ ;そう告げると、廊下を去っていった親父。\ `He left at last.\ ;以前にも行った、 ;あの薄暗い談話室へ向かったようだった。\ `He was probably heading back downstairs, back to that gloomy discussion room.\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;また、一人となった病室。\ `So I was alone again.\ ;何もすることがない俺は、 ;売店で買ってきてくれた週刊誌へと手を伸ばす。\ `He'd brought me some magazines. I had nothing better to do, so I reached over for one.\ ;そこには、同じように ;見舞いとして持ってきてくれた果物とジュース。\ `They were on the table with the other stuff he'd brought. Fruit and juice and stuff.\ ;その果物を入れたバスケットの横。\ `But there was something else. Beside the basket of fruit.\ ;ちょうど、俺の嫌いなメロンの前…\ `Right in front of the melon (a fruit I detest).\ bg "e\w.jpg",5 dwave 1,"se\key2.wav" stop mp3fadeout 2000 bg "e\carkey.jpg",5 ;目に入ったのは…@車のキーだった。\ `Keys.\ ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;銀色に輝くキー。\ `A set of silver sparkling car keys.\ ;親父自慢の、内装から手を加えたらしいクーペ。\ `My father's pride and joy was his coupe, with its custom interior and trim. `He'd never dreamed of letting me near the thing.\ ;以前にも何気なく貸してくれと言い、 ;あっけなく断られた、その車のキーだった。\ `That's what these were the keys to.\ ;そして、パジャマの胸ポケットには、例の免許証。\ `I still kept my driving licence in my breast pocket, even in these pyjamas.\ ;あの日、出番を失ってしまったにもかかわらず、 ;持ち続けていた…かつての日常の証しだった。\ `Even though I'd lost the chance to use it, I kept it there as a reminder that I'd had an ordinary life.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 dwave 1,"se\key2.wav" ;カチャ、\ ;俺は黙って、キーを掴んだ。\ `I laid a hand on the keys.\ `My fingers closed around them.\ ;咄嗟にそうしてしまった。 ;自分でも、明確な理由はわからない。\ `I'd taken them. I didn't really know why.\ ;只、何となくそうしていた。 ;どこか、テレビの１シーンを眺めているようだった。\ `It's just what I ended up doing. It was as though I was watching someone else do it, in a TV drama or something.\ ;そして、貰っていた数日分の薬。 ;それだけをコンビニ袋に詰めると…\ `I had several days' worth of medicine in my room, too. Somehow they ended up in a carrier bag.\ ;廊下へと向かった。\ `While I ended up in the corridor.\ mp3loop "bgm\o02.mp3" bg "e\w.jpg",5 ;…ナースステーションの横をすり抜け…\ `There was nobody on duty at the nurse's station. Nobody to see me pass.\ ;足早にエレベーターに向かって歩き続ける。\ `I continued on past, towards the lifts.\ ;右手にコンビニ袋、左手には車のキー。 ;胸ポケットには、出番を失くした筈の免許証を忍ばせていた。\ `In my right hand, the carrier bag; in my left, the car keys. `Tucked away in my breast pocket, the driving licence I'd never thought I'd be able to use.\ bg "e\danwa.jpg",5 ;談話室の前。\ `I reached the lounge and glanced inside.\ ;次に目に入ったのが、 ;いつものように、テレビを見ていた彼女の姿だった。\ `She was in there.\ ;ちゃちいパイプ椅子に座って、 ;今日もつまらなさそうに画面を見ていた。\ `Plonked in her usual chair, staring listlessly at the TV screen.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;「なあお前…それ面白いか？」\ `"Are you having fun there?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…そう見える？」\ `"Do I look like I am?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「いや、全然…」\ `"Not really."\ dwavestop 0 ;相変わらずのやり取り。\ `The usual exchange.\ ;いつもの遠くを見るような目をしていた。\ `Her usual expression, detached and distant-eyed.\ !s85 ;「それじゃあ…@いっしょに行くか？」\ `"Then...@ ` why not come with me instead?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「えっ…」\ `"Eh...?!"\ dwavestop 0 ;手に持った車のキーを見せながら、言葉を続けた。\ `I held up the keys for her to see, and continued.\ ;「俺も…家は嫌だ」\ `"I've decided... I don't want to die at home."\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「わたしは…７階も嫌…」\ `"I... don't want it to be here, either..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「それじゃあ…@いっしょに行くか？」\ `"Then...@ ` why not come with me instead?"\ dwavestop 0 !s100 ;「…うん」\ `"...why not?"\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\w.jpg",5 !sd ;その言葉と共に、パイプ椅子から立ち上がる彼女。@ `And with that she stood up.\ ;ふわりと長い髪が揺れ、俺の鼻先をかすめた。\ `She shook her long hair, and a lock brushed against the tip of my nose.\ ;そして彼女も、 ;何日分かの薬をコンビニ袋に詰めると…\ `And she added her medicine to the bag...\ ;二人して７階を後にした。\ `Then we left the seventh floor together.\ ;俺はつまらないテレビを消した。 ;カン高い笑い声をあげていた司会者は沈黙した。\ `I switched the awful television off as we went. `The compere's shrill laughter was cut short, and silence reigned.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;お互い、パジャマのままエレベーターに乗り込む。 ;最上階である、この階から１階へと降りる。\ `Clad as we were in a pyjamas, for want of anything to change into, we rode the lift all the way down to the ground floor.\ ;１階に着いても、入退院や急患入り口ではなく、 ;わざと外来の出入口から駐車場へと向かった。\ `We left by the outpatients' exit, of course, not the main door by reception.\ `It was less conspicuous, and handier for the car park.\ bg "e\sora03.jpg",3 dwave 1,"se\kaze3.wav" ;ビュウーー、\ ;屋外に出た途端に、冷たい木枯らしが顔を叩く。@ `The freezing wind struck us full in the face as we stepped outside.\ ;障害物の少ない駐車場は、尚更、風が強いように感じた。\ `The car park was wide open and clear of obstructions; that just made the blast all the stronger.\ ;二人して、キョロキョロと辺りに気を配りながら、 ;広い病院の駐車場を歩き回る。\ `We hurried together across the tarmac. I was looking out for the car. She was looking out for trouble.\ ;やがて… ;しばらく探して、やっと見つけた親父の車。\ `It didn't take long to find the car. It wasn't the sort that blends in.\ bg "e\byoin_chusyajo.jpg",5 ;銀のクーペ。@ ;内装にまで手を入れた親父自慢の車だった。\ `The silver coupe.@ ` `My father's pride and joy.\ ;早速俺は、キーをさし込むとドアを開ける。\ `I unlocked it.\ dwave 1,"se\kati.wav" ;カチャ、\ ;「ほら、乗っていいぞ」\ `"Get in."\ dwavestop 0 ;「うん、わかった…」\ `"Okay..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",3 dwave 1,"se\close.wav" ;バタン、\ ;深々とドライバーズシートに身を沈める俺。\ `I swung myself into the driver's seat.\ ;助手席の彼女は、 ;小柄の為か普通に座っても前が見え難い程だった。\ `She was already adjusting her side. At her size, she needed the seat fully upright if she was going to be able to see out.\ bg "e\car_byoin_chusyajo.jpg",3 ;次に、手に持ったキーをイグニッションへと挿れ、 ;回しながら軽くアクセルを踏む。\ `Now it was just a case of putting the key in the ignition and turning it, while stepping lightly on the accelerator.\ ;全て、教習所で習った通りだった。\ `Just like they'd taught me at driving school.\ dwave 1,"se\engine_start.wav" ;キュルキュル、 ;ウォンブオン……\ ;たちまち、車内に響く軽いエンジン音。\ `The engine purred into life.\ ;後はサイドブレーキを外して、クラッチを離すだけ。\ `Next... just release the handbrake and let the clutch in gently.\ ;…これで、どこへでも行けた。行ける筈だった。\ `And we were free. We could go anywhere... or should be able to.\ ;「じゃあ、行くぞ…」\ `"Shall we go?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…うん」\ `"Okay."\ dwavestop 0 ;小さく頷く彼女。 ;俺は返事をする代わりにギアをセカンドに入れる。\ `She nodded. I shifted into second in reply.\ ;そして、静かに車を発進させた。\ `And we began to glide forwards.\ dwave 1,"se\car_start2.wav" bg "e\naname_machi2.jpg",5 ;慣れないクラッチに、 ;ガタガタと車体を揺らしながらも、ゆっくりと進む。\ `It was not the smoothest of starts; the clutch was unfamiliar, and changing gears was consequentially a rather bumpy experience.\ ;「…揺れるわね」\ `"Bit jerky..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ああ、初めて乗る車だからな…」\ `"Yeah, I haven't driven this before..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ついでに言うと、免許取って初めての運転だ」\ `"Come to that, I haven't driven at all since I passed my test."\ dwavestop 0 ;「そう…」\ `"I see..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;やがて目の前に現れた、病院の駐車場出口。 ;そこに面して通っている大きめの道路。\ `It wasn't far to the car park exit, and that opened straight onto the main road.\ ;俺は、その信号のない交差点へと車を出した。\ `There were no traffic lights. I drove straight out without stopping.\ bg "e\shanai_inaka.jpg",5 dwave 1,"se\c-1.wav" ;パァーン、パーン、\ ;クラクションを浴びせる後続の車。 ;いきなり車線に入ってきた俺に対してのものだった。\ `Our entry onto the road was greeted by a sennet of horns from the traffic behind us.\ ;慣れないクラッチに、ギアを変える度に、 ;ガツガツとつんのめりながらも走る銀のクーペ。\ `I accelerated to the speed of the flow, trying not to be flustered by the crunches and jerks that accompanied each inexpert change of gear.\ dwave 1,"se\c-2.wav" ;それが真後ろの車には余計に気に障るのか、 ;当分、クラクションは止みそうになかった。\ `This juddering acceleration appeared only to enrage the driver behind us all the more. He honked angrily away. Perhaps he'd taped the horn lever down.\ ;なのに、特に気にするでもなく走る俺。 ;どこかリアルとしての感覚が薄かった。\ `I managed to push him out of my mind and concentrate on driving. `I still wasn't really with it. The whole affair seemed vaguely unreal.\ !s85 ;「なあ、お前…」\ `"You okay there?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…なに？」\ `"How do you mean?"\ dwavestop 0 !w200 ;「…怖いか？」\ `"Are you scared?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ !w500 !s90 ;「…怖がった方がいい？」\ `"...would it help if I was?"\ dwavestop 0 !w300 ;「いや…別に…」\ `"Not quite what I meant..."\ dwavestop 0 dwavestop 1 dwave 2,"se\car1.wav" bg "e\sora03.jpg",5 !s75 ;まだ昼前。高い日。\ `It was still morning. The sun was high.\ ;フロントガラス越しに見た、一月の冬空。 ;何故か哀しいと思えるほど青く澄んでいた。\ `The January sky stretched out and up beyond the windscreen, still, blue, and empty.\ ;…別に行くあてなんて無かった。\ `We had no particular place to go.\ ;寒空、慣れないクラッチに、車体を揺らした日のこと。@ `It was a day for a cold sky, an unfamiliar clutch, a fast car with a shaking chassis.\ ;二人して、パジャマ姿のまま国道を目指した日のこと。\ `It was a day to hit the road together... in our pyjamas.\ !s85 ;…そんな冬の日のこと…\ `It was that kind of winter day...\ !sd bg "e\b.jpg",3 stop mp3fadeout 2000 bg "tui2\c0442.bmp",3 click ;あんなに高かった日が ;オレンジへと変わろうとする頃。\ `Then came the time of day when the sun began to sink and redden.\ bg "e\sora_yu.jpg",3 mp3loop "bgm\e02.mp3" ;走り続ける俺たち。 ;只、やみくもに車を走り続けていた。\ `I had simply driven all day, never once pausing, never once thinking about where we were going.\ ;そして、辺りが見覚えのない場所になった頃…\ `At length it came to my attention that I did not, in fact, have the faintest clue where we were.\ ;「…少し停めるぞ」\ `"Mind if we stop for a moment?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…うん」\ `"Okay..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chusha_michi2_yu.jpg",5 ;やっと、車を停車させた俺。\ `It was time to stop and think.\ ;市街地から外れた、どこかの道端。 ;寂しげでほとんど交通量も見えないところだった。\ `We were well away from the city now, of course, out in the middle of nowhere. `We'd barely seen so much as another car for the last few kilometres.\ ;そんな、名も知れぬ場所に車を寄せると、 ;とりあえず、車内の点検を始めた。\ `I drew up in a nameless layby and began to take stock of the situation.\ bg "yobi\car_byoin_chusyajo_yu.bmp",5 ;…少しでも役に立つものがあれば…\ `For example, what resources did we have...?\ ;何の用意もなく飛び出してきたが、 ;たちまちに困ってしまうことは目に見えていた。\ `Having departed rather hastily and without proper plans, we were likely to be faced with some difficulties.\ ;そんなことを思いながら、 ;まずは、目の前のダッシュボードを漁ってみる。\ `I began to check through the various pockets and compartments around the car.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 ;…………\ `............\ ;「ほんと、何もねえな…」\ `"This isn't much to live off..."\ dwavestop 0 ;高速のつり銭らしき小銭が数百円ほど。 `There were a few hundred yen in the ash tray, presumably change for highway tolls.\ ;他にはマンガ本が数冊と、使い捨てカメラがあるだけ。\ `Apart from that, just a couple of manga volumes and a disposable camera.\ ;別に目的地がある訳ではなかったけど、 ;車に装備されていたナビも壊れているようだった。\ `It was a good thing we didn't have any destination in mind, because the GPS navigation system seemed to be broken.\ ;そして、俺の今の所持金は８０００円ほど。@ ;出掛けに急いでポケットに詰めてきた全財産だった。\ `All I had to add to that was the little I'd brought with me when we left.\ ;これでは、目の前の小銭と足しても、９０００円ほどにしかならない。\ `My total assets, including the change in the ash tray, barely came to 9,000 yen.\ ;もちろん、車内に何かあるなんて、最初から期待してた訳じゃない。\ `I can't say I was particularly surprised to find so little had been left in the car.\ ;…でも、この所持金では、たちまちに困ってしまうだろう。 ;ちゃんとした所に宿泊するなんて絶対に無理だと思える。\ `But it was still a blow. With funds this limited, there was no chance we were going to be sleeping in hotel beds.\ bg "yobi\car_byoin_chusyajo_yu.bmp",3 ;といっても、こいつが金を持ってるとは思えないし…\ `I could guess that the girl wouldn't have any money on her. I'd seen what she put in the bag... just medicine.\ ;「…どうかした？」\ `"...what?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「いや、なんでもない…」\ `"Nothing..."\ dwavestop 0 ;…まあいい。 ;こんなことは最初から分かっていた筈だ。\ `Well, I'd been expecting it to turn out like this.\ ;元々、予定や計画なんてのを、 ;考えた上での行動だった訳じゃない。\ `We were actually pretty well off, given that we'd set out without any planning or preparation.\ ;それよりも今は動きたかった。じっとしていたくなかった。\ `In any case, there was no point sitting around. I wanted to be on the move, not stuck in a layby.\ dwave 2,"se\car1.wav" bg "e\naname_inaka_yu.jpg",5 ;暮れ始めた空の下、再び走り始めた銀のクーペ。\ `We pulled out into the road again, under the setting sun.\ ;「ところでお前、腹へってねえか？」\ `"How are you doing? Getting hungry yet?"\ dwavestop 0 ;走りながら、隣のこいつに声を掛ける。 ;考えてみれば朝から何も食べてなかった。\ `Come to think of it, we'd neither of us eaten since breakfast.\ ;「とりあえず、コンビニでも寄るか？」\ `"Next town we come to, shall we try and find a grocery and grab some food?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…嫌」\ `"No chance."\ dwavestop 0 ;「おいおい、贅沢言うなよ、それに７階の食事と比べれば絶対にマシだぞ」\ `"Don't get picky now. In any case, anything's going to be better than what they gave us back on the seventh floor."\ dwavestop 0 ;「………………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;俺の言葉には、無言で返す彼女。\ `She looked down at herself silently.\ ;その、うつむいた視線の先は、自分の着ているピンクのパジャマがあった。\ `And I realised what the problem was. Those pink pyjamas.\ ;「ああ、そういえば、そうだったな…」\ `"Heh, good point..."\ dwavestop 0 ;言いながら俺も自分の服を見つめる。\ `I glanced down at my own outfit.\ ;確かに、このパジャマのままでは、どこに行くにしても目立ちすぎる。\ `I had to admit that we were going to stick out rather, if we didn't change into daytime clothes.\ ;車内なら問題無いって訳じゃないけど、とりあえず、この服装を何とかしないといけない。\ `Respectable attire would have to be a priority.\ ;そう判断した俺は、幹線道路から市街地へとハンドルを向けた。\ `So the next time we reached a turning for a town, I took it.\ bg "e\shanai_michi03_yu.jpg",5 ;しばらく走った頃。 ;到着したのは、名も知らぬどこかの通り。\ `I don't know what the town was called, nor the name of the street we ended up on.\ ;きっと駅前に近いのだろう。 ;それなりに人の姿も見える通りだった。\ `We were somewhere near a station. There were quite a few people around, for the time of day.\ ;「このへんなら、ありそうなもんだけど…」\ `"There's bound to be one somewhere round here..."\ dwavestop 0 ;辺りをキョロキョロと探りながら、車を進ませる俺。 ;シートから少し身体を乗り出すようにして運転していた。\ `I drove along slowly, sitting upright, looking in all directions.\ ;「あ…見つけた…」\ `"There we are..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;ほどなくして発見したコインランドリー。\ `An automatic laundrette.\ ;見ため的にもぼろくて、 ;小さな雑居ビルの１階にぽつんと入っていた。\ `It was on the ground floor of a rather dilapidated-looking block.\ ;…ここならちょうど良いかも知れない。\ `This looked as good a place as any.\ ;俺は、その入り口から、 ;少しだけ離れた場所へと車を路駐する。\ `I parked a little way up the street.\ ;「じゃあ、ちょっと待ってろよ…」\ `"I'll be back in a moment..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…？」\ `"...?"\ dwavestop 0 dwave 1,"se\close.wav" ;バタン、\ ;不思議そうな顔をする彼女を車内に残し、 ;俺はコインランドリーへと足を向ける。\ `I shut the car door on her questioning look and strolled back to the laundrette.\ dwave 1,"se\autodoor.wav" bg "e\coin_tennai.jpg",5 ;自動ドアをくぐった途端、 ;鼻をつく漂白剤や洗剤の匂い。\ `The door slid open as I approached, letting out a puff of hot air that filled my nostrils with the scent of bleach.\ ;店内は、外見のぼろっちさと同じように、 ;古めかしい洗濯機や乾燥機で占められていた。\ `The walls were lined with antiquated washing machines and tumble driers. The place was as run-down inside as out.\ ;「…誰もいないな」\ `"Anybody here?"\ dwavestop 0 ;そんな呟きを落とした無人の店内。\ `There was nobody there.\ dwave 1,"se\coin2.wav" ;ゴ………\ ;そこには低い音を上げて回転する乾燥機が、 ;１台だけ使用中だった。\ `Only one machine was in use: a tumble drier in the far corner was emitting a deep hum.\ ;早速、その使用中の機械に近づくと、 ;タイマーのチェックを始める。\ `I strode over to it and peered at the timer.\ ;…………\ `............\ ;どうやら２００円投入の、３０分にセットしたようだった。 ;そして今は、５分しか経っていない状態。\ `It was barely five minutes into a 200 yen half-hour cycle.\ ;…きっと、頃合までどこかで時間を潰しているのだろう。\ `Whoever was using it must have had better things to do than wait for it to finish.\ ;以上を推測すると、もう一度、 ;出入り口から、それらしい人がいないかを見回す。\ ;そして、間違いなく人の姿がないことを確かめると、 `I peered back outside, just in case they were still in sight. There were no likely suspects to be seen.\ ;俺は回転中の乾燥機のドアを手にして…\ ;いきなり開けた。\ `So I went back over to the machine and yanked the door open.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 dwave 1,"se\coin.wav" ;ガチャンっ、\ ;乾燥途中にドアを開けられ、強制的に一旦停止された乾燥機。\ `The failsafe kicked in, and the drum stopped spinning.\ ;むわっとした湿気と熱を無視して、 ;その中から半乾きの服の塊を引きずり出す。\ `I tugged the bundled laundry out, trying to ignore the heat and cloying steam.\ ;そして、そのまま両手で抱えると、 ;もう一度辺りを見回してから店を後にした。\ `Then, taking the lot in both arms, I took one last look around and stepped back outside.\ dwave 1,"se\close.wav" ;カチャ、バタン\ `The car door slammed shut beside me.\ bg "e\shanai_michi03_yu.jpg",5 ;「あ……」\ `"Oh...!"\ ;両手一杯に抱えた洗濯物を見て、少しだけ驚いた声を上げる彼女。\ `Apparently she hadn't guessed what I was going to do. My armful of damp laundry provoked a gasp.\ ;でも俺は構わずに、後部座席へと放り投げる。\ `I dumped the lot on the back seat.\ ;「じゃあ、行くぞ…」\ `"Off we go..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 dwave 1,"se\car_start.wav" ;キュルキュル、 ;ウォンブオン……\ `A perfect getaway.\ bg "e\soukou_yoru.jpg",3 ;ハンドルを片手に、 `I was steering more confidently now, with one hand on the wheel.\ ;先ほど放り込んだ洗濯物の山に目をやる。\ `The mound of laundry filled the rear-view mirror.\ ;ぱっと見、派手な感じのジーパンやスウェットばかりで、 ;どれもサイズは大きめのようだった。\ `From what I could see it was all menswear, flashy jeans and sweatshirts, and all in a pretty large size.\ ;まだ湿っているけど、車内ならば、エアコンの熱でじきに乾くだろう。\ `Mostly still wet, but we had the heater on pretty high, so it wasn't going to stay that way for long.\ bg "e\shanai_michi02_yoru.jpg",5 ;「後で好きなのに着替えろよ…」\ `"There must be something you can wear in that lot..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;その言葉にも、特に返事はなかった。 ;放り込んだままの洗濯物に目をやるだけだった。\ `She didn't reply. She just looked unenthusiastically at the heap.\ ;「しょうがねえだろ…」\ `"We're just going to have to make the best of it."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…わかってるわよ」\ `"Yes. I know."\ dwavestop 0 ;そりゃあ俺だって、こんなこと好きでやってる訳じゃない。\ `I'd be the first to admit that I wasn't happy with the choice of clothes, or the methods involved in acquiring them.\ ;それに、この所持金自体だって、別に何かの使い途を持ってる訳じゃないけど…\ `I was even willing to concede that we didn't have any specific plans for the money we had.\ ;しかし、現在の手持ちでは、新たに服を買うことは厳しいのが現状だった。\ `But in the circumstances, given how limited our resources are, there was still no way we could justify a shopping spree.\ bg "e\sora07.jpg",5 ;本格的に月が顔を出し、しばらく走った頃…\ `We drove on until the moon became clear in the sky.\ ;俺はどこかの公園のそばへと車を停める。\ `Then I set about finding a quiet well-lit street where we could stop.\ ;きっと、児童公園のような場所なのだろう。住宅街の中に、こじんまりと建っていた。\ `I ended up pulling up next to a kids' playground in the middle of some leafy suburb.\ ;そんな中、先程パクってきた服の物色を始める。\ `Then began the task of sorting through the heap and finding out exactly what I'd managed to liberate.\ bg "e\car_byoin_chusyajo_yoru.jpg",5 ;車内のエアコンもあってか、すっかり乾いていた洗濯物。\ `The heater had done the job. The clothes were quite dry by now.\ ;「やっぱり、男ものばかりだったな…」\ `"Thought so... it's all men's stuff..."\ dwavestop 0 ;さっきもちらっと見た通り、 ;派手な感じのジーパンやスウェットばかりだった。\ `There really wasn't much apart from the jeans and sweatshirts I'd glimpsed earlier.\ ;恐らくは俺と同じくらいの年頃なのだろう。サイズ的にも近いように感じた。\ `They were pretty close to my size, though. The previous owner must have been about my build.\ ;そして、運転席に座ったまま、 ;適当なジーンズとトレーナーを掴むと着替え始める俺。\ `I picked out a suitable pair of jeans, and a shirt I could bear to be seen in, and began to wriggle into them as best as I could in the confined space.\ ;「ほら、お前も適当なのに着替えろよ」\ `"Come on, get yourself into something."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…どれも、大き過ぎる…」\ `"...they're all too big..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「じゃあ、ずっとパジャマでいるのか？」\ `"Are you just going to stay in your pyjamas, then?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「わかった…」\ `"Oh, all right..."\ dwavestop 0 ;しぶしぶ答えると、適当なジーンズと服を手に持ってドアを開ける彼女。\ `Clearly reluctant, but recognising the need, she tugged some garments from the heap and opened her door.\ dwave 1,"se\open.wav" ;「おい、どこ行くんだ？」\ `"Where are you going?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…着替えてくる」\ `"To get changed."\ dwavestop 0 dwave 1,"se\close.wav" ;それだけを告げると、 ;目の前に見える公園のトイレへと歩き始めた。\ `Of course. She was heading for the public toilets next to the playground.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;…………\ ;カチャ、\ `............\ dwave 1,"se\close.wav" ;「よう、早かったな」\ `"That was quick."\ bg "e\car_byoin_chusyajo_yoru.jpg",3 ;暫くして、帰ってきた彼女。\ ;先ほどまで着ていた、ピンクのパジャマを手にして、 ;新しくジーンズと白いトレーナーに着替えていた。\ `She was dressed now. Navy jeans and a white sweatshirt. Her pink pyjamas were in her hand.\ ;「まあ、なんとか着れて良かったな」\ `"Glad you could find something."\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;返事はなかった。予想できたことだが、サイズ的に無理があって、かなりぶかぶかのようだった。\ `She didn't reply. I wasn't surprised. The fit was as awful as I'd feared; the clothes were practically hanging off her.\ ;ジーンズの丈も余りすぎる為、くるくると何回も折り返して、 ;上に着たトレーナーも同じように袖を幾重にも捲くっていた。\ `She'd had to turn up her trouser legs quite a way just to be able to walk in them. Her sleeves had had the same treatment.\ ;「…パジャマのままの方がよかった…」\ `"...I was better off in my pyjamas..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「まあ、そう言うなよ、少しはこっちの方が温かいし」\ `"Don't say that. At least you'll be warmer this way."\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;俺の言葉に、少しだけ不服そうな顔を向ける。\ `She replied only with a slight pout.\ ;「やっぱあれか、もっと女の子っぽいのが良かったか？」\ `"I guess they were a bit more, um, feminine...?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「別に…」\ `"Whatever..."\ dwavestop 0 ;相変わらずの彼女の反応。\ `She was no more talkative than ever.\ ;ぶかぶかのトレーナーに不満そうだと思っても、 ;すぐに、いつもの無表情に戻ってしまった。\ `I had been expecting her at least to sulk a little over the clothes, but instead she just retreated back behind her usual expressionless mask.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 stop mp3fadeout 2500 dwave 1,"se\rain01.wav" bg "e\amazora03.jpg",5 ;ざーーーっ\ ;いつのまにか降り出した雨。\ `It had started to rain.\ bg "e\chusha_michi_ame_yoru.jpg",5 mp3loop "bgm\n03.mp3" ;まるで止むことを忘れたように、 ;一月の冷たい空からこぼれ落ちていた。\ `It sheeted down from the cold January sky, as though it had forgotten how to stop.\ ;車内から見える、 ;フロントガラスに付いた無数の雨粒。\ `The windscreen was gradually obscured by the hammering raindrops.\ ;その一つ一つが、表面張力を超えるサイズになると ;幾つかが集まり、こぼれ、川へと変わる。\ `After a while, as the mass built up, they began to coalesce. The beads brimmed and overflowed, sending rivulets trickling down the glass.\ ;そして、流れ落ちる際には、 ;フロントガラスの下流の雨粒をも巻き込み、更に流していく。\ `As those streams met and gathered strength, and picked up further volume from the rain, the windscreen became a riverbed.\ ;そんな雨の様子を、俺は車内からぼーっと眺めていた。\ `For a while I just sat in the driver's seat, watching the rain.\ bg "e\car_byoin_chusyajo_yoru_ame.jpg",5 ;どこかの駐車場。山の中の寂しい場所。\ `A lonely layby, somewhere up in the hills.\ ;コンビニで買い物を済ませた俺達は、 ;ここで夜を明かしていた。\ `We'd paused at a grocery to buy some food. This was where we stopped for the night.\ ;お互いにおにぎりを２つと、ポカリの５００ｍｌ、 ;それとポテトは半分ずつが夕食のメニューだった。\ `We hadn't bought much. Two onigiri each, two half-litre bottles of Pocari, and a potato between us.\ ;「こーゆーの、久しぶりだよな…」\ `"It's been a while since I've had stuff like this..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…うん」\ `"Yeah..."\ dwavestop 0 ;片手にコンビニおにぎりを持ったまま、彼女が呟く。\ `She nodded agreement, picking up her first onigiri.\ ;普通で考えれば豪華な訳はないけど、７階の食事と比べれば十分に旨いと思える。\ `Onigiri. Not something that most people would consider particularly wonderful. `But compared to the food on the seventh floor, it seemed special enough.\ ;そして、二人してポテトに手を伸ばしていると、突然、彼女がその手を止めた。\ `Then as we each reached out for the potato, her hand suddenly stopped.\ ;「…どうかしたか？」\ `"Something wrong?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「別に…」\ `"No..."\ dwavestop 0 ;そう答える視線の先、 ;真っ白に煙ったフロントガラスの向こう…\ `She whispered. She was staring out of the windscreen.\ ;その道端には幾つかの白い花が見えていた。\ `I followed her gaze. We had parked in front of a bank of flowers.\ bg "e\narcissu_yoru_ame.jpg",5 ;雨に濡れる白い花。\ `White flowers, dripping in the rain.\ ;誰かが植えた物か、野生の物かは分からないけど、 ;その花には見覚えがあった。\ `I couldn't guess whether they were wild or cultivated. But I did recognise the shape.\ ;「確か、ナルキ…ナルキスだっけ？」\ `"It's those narc... narcisses?"\ dwavestop 0 !s85 ;「ナルキッソス…水仙のことよ」\ `"Narcissi... you probably know them better as daffodils."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「ああ、水仙のことだったのか…」\ `"Oh, are they the same thing?"\ dwavestop 0 ;特に草花に詳しい訳ではないけど、水仙ならば、名前くらい聞いたことがあった。\ `I'd be the first to admit that botany was never a strong point of mine, but even I had heard of daffodils.\ ;そして、普段なら滅多に言葉を出さない彼女なのに、 ;珍しく、話題にのってきたことを思い出していた。\ `And once again their appearance seemed to have coaxed some rare words out of the girl, who usually spoke only when necessary.\ ;だから俺も、こいつに合わせて話しを続けた。\ `For that reason alone I felt it worth pursuing the conversation.\ bg "e\car_byoin_chusyajo_yoru_ame.jpg",5 ;「それで、やっぱあれか…ここのも違うのか？」\ `"Are these the same kind, then, or something different?"\ dwavestop 0 !s85 ;「…うん、厳密には違う」\ `"Different."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「ふーん、結構珍しいものなんだな…」\ `"What, really? Those other ones must be pretty rare, then..."\ dwavestop 0 !s85 ;「別に…どこにでもあるわよ」\ `"Not really. They're all over the place."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;「どこにでもって、どこ？」\ `"Anywhere in particular?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;俺としては、それほど深い意味があった訳じゃない。 `I didn't ask with any particular aim in mind.\ ;只、話しの流れからの自然な問いのつもりだった。\ `That was just where the conversation happened to lead.\ ;なのに、こいつは暫く考え込んでから…@ ;ゆっくりと口を開いた。\ `But she paused to think about it, before opening her mouth again.\ !s85 ;「…西……」\ `"West..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…西？」\ `"In the west?"\ dwavestop 0 !s90 ;「淡路島が…有名…」\ `"Particularly on Awajishima..."\ !sd dwavestop 0 ;「おいおい、淡路島ってお前…」\ `"Awajishima?! Hang on, do you..."\ dwavestop 0 ;…ここからどれだけ離れていると思ってんだ？\ `...have any idea how far away that is from here?\ ;まだ車に乗ったばかりの俺には、 ;大体の目安すらつかないほどだった。\ ;恐らく、軽く７００ｋｍくらいはあるだろうし、 ;高速を利用したって何時間かかるか見当もつかない。\ `It's an island out in Hyogo prefecture, south of Kobe.\ `Though I wasn't sure exactly where we were, I could say for a fact that she was talking about a place halfway across the country.\ `I couldn't imagine how long it would take to drive there. I'd never attempted a trip like that. I wasn't sure I could if I wanted to.\ ;…第一、所持金を考えると、とても足りるとは思えない。\ `I was pretty sure we did't have the money to cover that sort of journey, in any case.\ ;それに、仮に高速を使わずに下道で行ったしても、 ;そのガソリン代すら危ういように思える。\ `We probably wouldn't even be able to cover the fuel costs, not even if we stayed off the highways to save money.\ ;「お前さあ、無茶言うなよ… ;　そんなところまで行ける訳ねえだろ？」\ `"Don't be silly... you must know there's no way we could go that far!"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 !s85 ;「…誰が…行きたいなんて言ったの？」\ `"...who said anything about going there?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「えっ…」\ `"Huh?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「問われたから答えただけ…」\ `"I was just answering your question..."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;それだけを告げると、 ;またフロントガラス越しに例の花を見つめる彼女。\ `The conversation died there. She clammed up and just sat there, gazing at the flowers.\ ;冷たい雨に車内のガラスが真っ白に煙る。 ;その更に向こうへと視線を投げていた。\ `Even after the glass steamed up with our breath, thanks to the cold rain outside, she still didn't shift her gaze.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;…別に俺だって行きたかった訳じゃなかった。\ `I didn't particularly want to go to Awajishima either.\ ;でも、他に行きたい場所を持っている訳でもなかった…\ `But then I didn't particularly want to go anywhere in particular...\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 stop mp3fadeout 2500 mov %flg_cha3,1 mov %flg_bplay,3 goto *mini_title *honpen4 dwavestop 1 ;mov $sys_midasi,"地図" mov $sys_midasi,"Maps" bg "e\w.jpg",5 setwindow 100,358,35,17,17,17,0,3,1,1,5,#ffffff,0,0,799,599 !sd erasetextwindow 0 !s85 ;『…時間の止まったわたし…』\ `"Time has stopped for me..."\ dwavestop 0 mp3loop "bgm\n04.mp3" !sd ;知識だけを増やし、無意味な価値観だけを増やし、 ;ブラウン管からの情報だけを求めて…\ `I was just collecting knowledge, piling up meaningless facts and figures, draining information from the television screen...\ ;いつしかリアルを薄め、虚ろになってしまう。\ `The world had lost its reality for me. There was nothing solid out there.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 !s85 ;『…でも、地図を見るのは好きだった…』\ `"But I still enjoy looking at maps..."\ dwavestop 0 !sd ;車や列車、どこかへ運んでくれるモノも好きだった。\ `And I liked cars and trains. Things that could have taken me to all those other places.\ ;狭いベッドの上に地図を広げ…@ ;幾つもの幹線を乗り継いで、乗り継いで…\ `I'd spread the maps out on my narrow bed, and trace out journeys on them.\ ;セダン、クーペ、コンバーチブル、 ;様々な車種にも乗った。\ `Saloons, coupes, convertibles... I could drive anything, on a map.\ ;…どこまでも続く１号線。 ;その、ずっとずっと先まで走った。\ `Along Route 1, for example. Endless Route 1...\ dwave 1,"se\umi13.wav" bg "e\image01.jpg",5 ;インディゴブルーの空と、美しい海岸線。\ `Running along the beautiful coast, under an indigo sky...\ ;そんな、夢に描いた場所まで走った…\ `It ran all the way to places like that, places I could only dream of.\ ;ゆるやかに弧を描く岬を巡って… ;灼けた日射しの下、真っ白な砂浜を駆けてみる。\ `Hot beaches curving gracefully around the coast, baked white sand under my feet.\ ;…目を閉じさえすれば、どこへでも行けた。\ `I could go anywhere, when my eyes were closed.\ ;見たこともない景色を浮かべ、 ;決して行ける筈もない土地を思いながら…\ `I could see things I'd never be able to see. I could visit places I'd never be able to visit...\ bg "e\chara_k01.jpg",5 !s85 ;『…無意味に、只、知識だけを増やした…』\ `"I've achieved nothing... apart from filling my mind with trivia..."\ dwavestop 0 bg "e\chara_k01.jpg",3 ;『…虚しく、憧れだけを募らせた…』\ `"All I've done is to increase my longing for things I'll never have..."\ dwavestop 0 dwavestop 1 !sd bg "e\b.jpg",5 mp3fadeout 2500 stop bg "tui2\c045.bmp",3 ;雨上がりの空。\ `The rain had stopped by morning.\ bg "e\sora01.jpg",5 ;ものすごい速さで流れていく、高い、高いところの雲。\ `The sky was largely clear, with just a few clouds streaming across it, high, high above us.\ ;路面からは、まだ湿ったアスファルトが、シャーっという独特の音を立てていた。\ `The roads were still wet. Our tyres hissed against the tarmac.\ mp3loop "bgm\sen02.mp3" bg "e\joku_shigaichi.jpg",5 dwave 1,"se\car3.wav" bg "e\soukou.jpg",5 ;そんな中、相変わらず走り続ける俺達。\ ;目的地も無く、只、なんとなく走り続けていた。\ `We drove. Without any goal or aim, we just drove on through the day.\ ;別に、昨夜の話しにあった淡路島を目指している訳じゃない。 ;第一、それ以前の問題としてガソ代すら足らないだろう。\ `Despite the previous night's conversation, I didn't make any attempt to strike out for Awajishima.\ `There was no point. We couldn't afford the petrol.\ ;そんなことを思いながらも、 ;知らない道を、真っ直ぐに進みつづける俺。\ `So I just carried on driving at random instead.\ bg "e\shanai_michi01.jpg",3 ;…でも、ここはどこだろう？\ ;ふと、そんなことも考えてしまう。\ `It didn't help that I was lost.\ ;元々、あまり地理に詳しい方じゃなかったが、見たこともないような地名ばかりだった。\ `I'd never been much good at geography. The roadsigns were no help; I couldn't even read half the names on them.\ ;それなりに走ったつもりだけど、ナビが動かないおかげで余計に分からない。\ `The navigator being broken was the last straw.\ ;思わず俺は、辺りの標識を、キョロキョロと見回しながら走っていた。\ `I found myself slowing down, straining to read the signs as we passed them.\ ;「うーん、よく分からないな…」\ `"Oh, I give up..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…なに？」\ `"What about?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「ん、いや…ここってどこかなってな」\ `"Oh... just... trying to work out where we are, kind of thing."\ dwavestop 0 ;俺の様子に声を掛けた彼女。 ;軽く相槌を返した。\ `I tried to answer as unconcernedly as I could.\ ;まあ、恐らくこんなことを、こいつに聞いても分からないだろうが…\ `It wasn't like she'd be able to help at all.\ ;「入間よ…埼玉県の」\ `"We're in Iruma. Saitama prefecture."\ dwavestop 0 ;「えっ…」\ `"..what?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「次の交差点を右に行けば１６号線…八王子へ出るわ」\ `"If you take the next right onto Route 16, we'll be heading for Hachiouji."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…お前、分かるのか？」\ `"...how do you know all this?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「もしかして、ここらに住んでたのか？」\ `"Did you use to live near here or something?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「別に…そんなんじゃないわよ」\ `"Not really..."\ dwavestop 0 ;意外だった。\ `I was rather taken aback.\ ;いや、意外というよりは、どうしてこんなに詳しいのかが不思議だった。\ `Well, it would be more accurate to say that I was bewildered. I couldn't think how she could know all this.\ ;どう見てもこいつは、車に乗って動き回っているようには見えないのに…\ `It was hard to believe she'd ever had the opportunity to explore the countryside herself...\ ;「じゃあさ、もしかして…」\ `"But... in that case..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「ここから例の場所…淡路島まで分かるか？」\ `"...do you know the roads in other places, too? Like, do you know the way to Awajishima?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…質問の意味がわからない」\ `"Why...? I don't understand..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「いや、だからさ、高速乗らずに下道だけなら行けるかも知れないじゃん」\ `"I was just thinking... we might be able to make it, if we stayed off the toll roads. Don't you think?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「ほら、ガソ代くらいなら、金も足るかも知れないし」\ `"See, we've probably got just about enough cash for petrol..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「……………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「あなた…@行きたいの？」\ `"Do you...@ ` want to go there?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「え、あ、いや…別にそういう訳じゃないけど…」\ `"Huh? I... no... I suppose that's not exactly why I, uh, I mean..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…じゃあ、聞かないで」\ `"...don't ask, then."\ dwavestop 0 ;その言葉を最後に、また黙ってしまった彼女。\ `She clammed up again.\ bg "e\b.jpg",3 ;相変わらずの素っ気ない様子で、窓の外を向いたままだった。\ `Her face hardened again, and she turned back to staring through the windscreen.\ ;その視線は目の前の流れる景色ではなく、もっと遠い、どこか違う場所を見ているようにも思えた。\ `Nor did she seem to be looking at the scenery... her eyes seemed to be focused on something more distant, if they were focused on anything at all.\ ;…さっきの…「聞かないで」って言葉。\ `"Don't ask", she'd said.\ ;あれは一体どういう意味だったのだろうか？\ `Why not? What on earth did she mean by that?, I wondered.\ ;もしも俺が、行くつもりだと答えたら、彼女は何と答えたのだろう…\ `And how would she have responded if I'd said I had wanted to go there...?\ bg "e\sora01.jpg",3 ;…目的もなく、只、進む俺達。\ `We pressed on aimlessly.\ ;最初から計画とか予定があった訳じゃない。 ;只、７階も薄っぺらい家も嫌なだけだった。\ `That was inevitable. We hadn't had any plans when we set out, other than to go somewhere that was neither home nor the seventh floor.\ ;だけど俺は、少なくとも俺だけは…\ ;何でもいいから、示してくれるものが欲しかったのかも知れない。\ `And yet, it may just have been me, but still I couldn't help but feel that it might have been nice to have some goal in mind.\ `Any goal would do. Just something to aim for.\ bg "e\b.jpg",5 stop mp3fadeout 2500 bg "tui2\c046.bmp",3 click bg "e\umibe_yoru.jpg",5 dwave 1,"se\umi13.wav" ;ざざ…\ `The sea.\ mp3loop "bgm\3_12.mp3" ;「さむいな…」\ `"It's a bit chilly out..."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…そうね」\ `"Isn't it..."\ dwavestop 0 ;名も知らぬ、どこかの浜辺。 ;気づけば、海へと出ていた俺達。\ `We were standing on a nameless beach somewhere. Somehow we'd ended up by the sea.\ ;俺としては西へ向かったつもりだったが、いつのまにか南へと進んだようだった。\ `I'd thought I was heading west. Just because. `But presumably at some point we'd turned south instead.\ dwave 1,"se\kaze13.wav" ;ビュウウーーーっ\ ;真っ暗な空と、強くて冷たい風が吹く浜辺。 `The sky was pitch black, and a rough and freezing wind was scouring the beach.\ ;お互いに車から出て、暗い海を見つめていた。\ `We'd left the car on the road and walked down to look at the sea.\ ;相変わらずのうつむき加減で、遠くを見る彼女。 ;真っ黒な空と海が、水平線の境界を溶かす。\ `She was standing with her head down, staring into the distance as usual. `Her gaze was fixed on the horizon, where black waves and black sky melted together in the darkness.\ ;そして、暫く海を見つめていたかと思うと…\ `I thought we were just going to look at the sea for a bit.\ ;ゆっくりと、波打ち際に向かって歩き始めた。\ `But then she started walking slowly towards the breaking waves.\ ;「ねえ…どうなると思う？」\ `"How do you think it would be...?"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…お前だって質問の意味が分かんねえよ」\ `"Now you're the one asking incomprehensible questions."\ dwavestop 0 ;「…………………」\ `"............"\ dwavestop 0 ;「…楽に死ねると思う？…@このまま海に入っていくと」\ `"Would this be a good way to die?@ ` ...I could just walk into the sea, just like this..."\ dwavestop 0 dwave 1,"se\nami02b.wav" ;背を向けたまま…ゆっくりと波打ち際へと歩きながらの言葉だった。\ `She didn't stop as she spoke. She kept on walking towards the surf.\ ;…３回目が最後。４回目はもうない。\ `The third time is the last. There isn't a fourth time.\ ;７階か家かのどちらかを選ぶことになるだろう。 ;避けた奴はいないらしい。\ `You will choose whether to die on the seventh floor or at home. Nobody has escaped that choice.\ ;かつて彼女から伝え聞いた言葉だった。\ `That's what she told me before.\ ;そして彼女は２回目、家も７階もどちらも嫌だと言った。\ `But she had been coming up to that third time, and she hated both options.\ ;既に俺へと伝えた後だった。既に役目も終わっていた。\ `She'd passed the lore on to me. S